My Life As An Average Jo

In Which I Am Crafty

2012-02-07T23:32:00.000-05:00

My Grandma Rinehart was crafty. She made gorgeous quilts, and also crocheted. She crocheted doilies, doll clothes, anything she felt like really. She tried to teach me, but to be honest, I didn't really want to learn. When she passed away, I was the recipient of her crochet hook collection, so I decided to relearn the craft. I went to Micheal's and bought a book entitled "Learn to Crochet in a Day" (the rhyming was great!), some additional hooks and some yarn. Working off and on between homework and church work, I finished my first project in approximately 5 months. It looks like a first attempt at something, but I'm just happy to have finished it:

The second project was a bit easier, pattern-wise. I made a shawl for my Aunt to have during her chemo treatments. It took roughly a month to complete:

Most recently, I completed a baby blanket for the soon-to-be born daughter of my pastor and his wife. The blanket is two sided, which was an interesting concept and usually awkward at best. It took approximately 2 months to complete, and in my opinion turned out just beautifully.

I've decided that I'm going to start making all different types of blankets to give to our future foster children. I have been told that sometimes the kids will show up with little more than their clothes in a garbage sack. I want kids that have been in our house to leave with something that is theirs regardless of what they come with. I'll post pictures as I get them finished!

Hey! What Happened?!?!

2012-02-07T17:31:00.001-05:00

So Saturday night I wrote a lovely post, complete with pictures, and it's nowhere to be found. Darn Internets - stealing my posts!

Stay tuned for the post to be re-blogged, even the pictures!

Livin' The Good Life

2012-01-28T23:23:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I've really felt like life has been firing on all cylinders. The past couple days have been just that. We found a house that we've applied to rent - three bedrooms and plenty of space (more than 1600 square feet) total for nearly $100 less a month than we pay now, plus since there's more space, we can move the last bit of our stuff out of storage and save another $45 a month. SCORE!

Our desire to rent a house stems from two reasons: 1) our plan to foster parent and 2) Bill's desire to live somewhere that is more conducive to community outreach. A third bedroom means that we can foster more than one child & gender at one time. While we could foster where we are, we would only be able to have one gender since we only have one extra room. We also realize that outreach can take place anywhere, we have found that apartment complex living does not make it easy to get to know your neighbors. With no yards and no porches, no one is really ever outside, and casual conversations don't take place. We will still have to be intentional about meeting people, but our new location should make those meetings a little more probable.

We're pretty excited about what our future holds, and I look forward to sharing it here!

Good News in the Busyness

2012-01-17T17:00:00.001-05:00

Life is pretty busy. It's the last of my classes, tax time (gotta get the church giving statements finalized) and we're trying to find a new place to live so we can open our home to kids that need some love and stability in their lives.

In the midst of all this is my daily battle to make sure I'm not eating too many foods that would make my blood sugar and pressure go up. The stress alone will do that.

Needless to say, I wasn't expecting any good news when I went to the doctor yesterday. I had my routine blood work done last because every 3-6 months we have to check and see if my A1C (a three-month blood sugar average) is in line with my daily readings. The past three months have included Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years, and while I tried to behave, I may have eaten more than I should.

Then I heard the results: all important numbers are DOWN! My A1C had previously been a 6.4, and now it is a 5.9. I did find out that my glucometer is reading about twenty percent higher than it should, so numbers I thought were high are actually right in line.

I couldn't have asked for anything better to come from that visit!

A Monday For the Ages

2012-01-10T17:00:00.000-05:00

Before I jump into Monday, a little back story. Remember this? It will be important in a little bit.

Yesterday was the first week of the last class of my program. An instructor was assigned just before IWU closed for Christmas, and in usual fashion, our class rep contacted the instructor to confirm what work was to be completed for the first week of class. He responsded that he had just had surgery and wasn't recovering as quickly as he thought so he didn't think he was going to be able to teach us. No biggie - except IWU couldn't make any changes until after we got back from being closed, leaving less than a week for us to know who would be the facilitator.

Once we figured out who the new guy was, the class rep repeated the process - with no response to the questions posed. So we did our best based on the information we had, and all showed up to class more than a little frustrated on several levels. At 5:55, no instructor. At 6:00, still no instructor. Our rep went down to the offices to find out what was going on. At 6:30, someone got in touch with the instructor only to find that he thought the class was part of an online group, and that he only teaches online. We all signed a piece of paper stating who was there, and left. I was home by 7, and in bed before 10, so I wasn't complaining.

I found out this morning (Tuesday is an extension of Monday, didn't you know) that the instructor put a quiz online for us to do. Also got an email that the powers that be were working on a solution. The quiz was so simple that my 12 year old nephew could have done it with his knowledge and some minimal Google skills. We got the solution to the instructor problem was to re-assign the original guy, and then we got an email from the "fake" instructor that he had sent the wrong quiz, and that the right one was now online to complete. .

But before all this drama, came the yelling. See, when there's no instructor present, adults can air their grievances like, well children. The lady from the aforementioned post is back to her less than 100% antics. I don't feel like I ask for much in life, but if I'm going to be in a project team that is going to have my name attached to the final project, I don't think it's too much to see all the pieces before signing off on it. Such was not the case, and she got into a text war with another group member over her not sending her part to the rest of the team that then ran over into the classroom (finally).

I would like the record to show that I did not instigate either argument, but that it did get to the point that she didn't have anything further to say because my points couldn't be argued really. "I got too much on my plate already" is not a valid argument, and even worse grammar, no matter how loudly it is proclaimed.

We have seven more Mondays, unless they decide to make us start the class this coming week and tack a week on to the end of the class. Regardless, it won't be over soon enough, if we have to deal with a person intentionally not giving 100%.

2012 - Really?

2012-01-08T23:49:00.000-05:00

Did you thing that we'd have ever seen the year 2012? I didn't, although I don't know why that is the case. Apparently when I was young, I never imagined being 34. Even still, the 2000's were supposed to bring moving sidewalks and hovercrafts - it was supposed to be a time only previously read in science fiction novels.

Instead it's pretty pedestrian. With the exception of the major technological advances (I remember my high school starting to wire for the Internet during my senior year), life is pretty much the same. We drive cars that are similar to ones we grew up with, we eat basically the same thing and we learn the same things - although I think kids are learning things a bit sooner.

Maybe we'll get to travel by hovercraft, maybe not. However, we can continue to work to forward the cause of Christ and His Kingdom. That task which was given to the disciples more than 2000 years ago still remains in effect today, hovercraft or not.

Drumroll Please!

2011-12-30T17:36:00.000-05:00

And here are the long awaited (well, probably not) resolutions being made by me, Kristin Hand:

Drop the last 80 pounds I want to lose by my birthday (Sept 19).
Complete the necessary process to become an adjunct instructor for IWU's adult programs
Complete the necessary process to become foster parents (more on this topic later)
The perennial resolution of blogging more consistently. I am going to aim for weekly.
Get (and stay) current with my Waterline work. I was handed a job that was already months behind, and have been frantically trying to get things to current.

Please feel free to ask how I'm doing!

Resolution Talk

2011-12-22T16:58:00.000-05:00

In the next week or so, the Internet is going to be flooded with people talking about their new year's resolutions, so I thought I'd jump the gun and be ahead of the curve for something different. I like to come up with things to change in my life, and I'm super good at keeping resolutions, until maybe February.

So in a move that may sound a bit like circular reasoning, my primary resolution for 2012 is to.....keep any other resolutions I may make.

I'm still working on what resolution(s) I plan to settle on, but once I have them, I will post them for all to see.

20 Years

2011-12-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

Five years ago, I wrote the following in honor of my Grandpa Bass. The senitment still rings true today, which is the 20th anniversary of his passing. It's still hard to fathom that it's been so long.

My calendar tells me that today, December 7th is "Pearl Harbor Remembrance Day" in the US. 65 years ago our unsuspecting troops were ambushed by the Japanese, in a deadly attack, which then prompted the US entering into WWII. It was a sad moment in US history, and one that forever changed our nation.

December 7th is a personal day of remembrance for me. It was 15 years ago today that my Grandpa Bass passed away after a looooong fight with cancer. I was 14 at the time, a freshman in high school, and my grandpa was my hero. My sisters and I weren't at the hospital when he met Jesus, we were staying at my Grandma's neighbor's, but I'll never forget when they called to ask us if we wanted to talk to him one last time. He was in a coma, and therefore couldn't respond, but of course we talked to him like he was coming home the next day. I remember telling him that when he got better we'd go tap some maple trees and do some hiking on Snowball Hill.

We lived 3 hours away from Grandpa Bass, but yet I knew him so well. We saw them often, almost every holiday I believe, and several times during the summer. He was adamant that we not go swimming on Sundays, because Sundays were to be about resting. When his district camp purchased more land to build a bigger campgrounds, he was upset at first that there was a pond on it, because kids would want to swim on Sunday. He never saw them move to that campground, and I've never been there either.

My grandpa was a WWII veteran, and proud as could be about it. He'd tell stories about what he saw in Europe and could read several different languages. I've been told he was bald from the age of 19; I never knew him to have hair. He wasn't always a Christian, and in fact almost killed himself when he passed out drunk in a running car (this was well before I was alive...maybe even before my mom was born). Once he got saved, he devoured the Bible, and was always bringing things up in conversation. I was a Bible quizzer as a child, so he would always ask me questions about the book we were studying.

My grandpa was also pretty slight, as far as his build was concerned, yet he packed away the food. He LOVED fried eggs and fried potatoes for breakfast...provided it was drenched in salt. I have never seen anyone since that put so much salt on his food.

Grandpa never got to see me graduate high school, never got to meet Bill, didn't get to see my wedding. At least not in person. I don't know that I believe that those who go on before us can watch us from heaven. I think they're too busy praising Jesus and casting their crowns at His feet to be concerned with the things they left behind. I wish he would have been there.

Grandpa's funeral was amazing. My cousin sang (I'm not sure how she pulled it off without crying, but she did), I cried through the whole thing. My other set of grandparents made the three hour drive, in fact about 300 people were in attendance. The sanctuary was full of people seated and standing. I had never seen so many people in that church in my life. That says a lot about my grandpa.

The last thing I remember about this whole event was that Grandma, who had all her Christmas shopping done, couldn't bring herself to write on the "from" line of the gift tags. As a result, everyone got a present at Christmas, but it was only a "to: kristin", no "from: grandma" It was also a very somber Christmas, and one of the few times we were actually at Grandma's on Christmas day.

Now 15 years have passed....I've been without my Grandpa Bass for longer than I had him. That's sad, and it never really hit me until now. Grandma no longer lives in the same house; she now has a trailer on a small piece of land in the same town. Grandpa is buried on a hillside, not too far from my cousin who died at 30 from ovarian cancer. I'm going to Ohio after Christmas, but I probably won't make it down to Grandma's because of the short amount of time we will have to travel. Someday I'll get back, and I intend to make it before I have to attend another funeral.

Illegal Means Not Legal

2011-10-10T08:00:00.001-04:00

Recently a friend of mine linked to a Huffington Post article that discusses a "dilemma" facing illegal immigrants in Rhode Island. Like several states, Rhode Island has decided to allow illegal immigrants to attend state colleges and universities at the in state tuition rate. (Side note: This practice is further confirmation of my statement here that colleges will accept anyone who is willing to pay the tuition fees. But I digress.) The point of the article was that even with a degree, many illegals were still having difficulty finding jobs. My first response: well, duh. Here's the thing, well educated or not, it is against federal law to hire people who are not authorized to work in the US. Hiring illegals will result in an INS raid and huge fines, so it's not really worth the headache.

To be honest, I could care less who a school admits - assuming that the expense of the schooling is going to actually help a person move forward in life. I'm also assuming that the schools are not giving federal financial aid to these students, because illegals do not qualify for federal aid. I don't know if any institutional funds are being given, but I would hope that the school isn't giving out institutional loans to students who in all likelihood cannot repay the funds.

I also think that allowing illegals to pay the in state tuition rate is ridiculous. A student who comes to the states legally on a student visa is required to pay the much higher out of state rate. Some reward for going things legally, don't you think? As with those who are on a student visa, an illegal immigrant's legal residence is the country they came from.

This problem (the admitting of illegals) is one that my employer to need to draw a line on. Having recently started an M.Div. taught entirely in Spanish, the need to note how we will handle illegals is necessary. Should we allow undocumented students, we will need to be up front with the applicants that there is absolutely no financial aid for them. Given some of the stories I have heard from my Spanish-speaking coworker, I'm not sure we're doing this correctly. In fact there has been a couple instances where my coworker has been accused of denying a student aid, when the student, when asked, could not provide a Social Security Number or any information his entry/visa status. In that instance, our office isn't denying the aid...the Department of Education has been.

All of this aside, no student in the US illegally should expect a job to be waiting for them upon graduation. The best option for them would be to take their degree back home and use it there. As long as the student is undocumented, they can forget about a job.

Team Work Makes the Dream Work

2011-10-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

For the past year plus I have been taking classes to add to my bachelor's degree. Working for a university has its perks, and where I work, undergraduate tuition is paid for by the employer. After taking a class for which no qualified facilitator could be found, I opted to add a major to my bachelor's degree so I would have both Accounting and Information Systems majors to go with my MBA. My goal is to serve as an adjunct facilitator for the adult programs.

Having already done two accelerated programs with my employer, I am more aware than most about how the program works, including the importance of study group projects on the learning process. The kicker is that for the group to serve its intended purpose, all members of the group must contribute equally. As I have previously documented, I tend towards being a little "particular" about getting the work done in an accurate and timely manner.

Do not get me wrong, in a program designed for working adults, it is entirely understandable that sometimes life gets in the way. We all have families, work and personal lives that can limit attention to class. Failure to contribute to a work assignment once in a great while would be "normal," but not hearing from a group member more than we do hear from them is just unacceptable to me. Yet somehow these are the types of people I attract.

I have finally figured out why: it's obvious that I care about getting the work done, and done well. Add that to the misconception that because I don't have children that I must have all the free time in the world, and I become a target for slackers. Currently, I have a group member who is shoddy at best when it comes to participating. And when I noted that we all need to be pulling our weight because the last couple classes are going to be tons of work from an individual and group standpoint, the response I got from the problem child was classic. She noted that she participates when she can, and that due to her FOUR kids (caps hers), full time job and "other" activities, she can't always give 100%. My initial reaction was thank you for confirming that you're a slacker. My second thought was that the rest of our group is pretty busy as well. One member is a single mom of teens, with a full time job, as well as aging parents. Another member is a project manager for an international telephony company who has 60+ hour work weeks and is a newlywed. Finally there's me, and I work 40+ hours, and do financial work for a church of 175. Needless to say, we're all giving our 100%, except for one, and I'm not about to start having to give 200% to cover for someone who participates "when I can."

The not-so-thinly veiled threat at the end of her response was a pleasant touch. Unfortunately for her I don't scare easily - especially when I can point to the wording in the study group handbook that says that if she doesn't contribute, we don't have to keep her as a member of the group. I didn't work this hard for this long to have a lazy person derail my efforts this close to the end. This battle is not over, and as a competitive person, I intend to play the game to the benefit of the other team members who have been 100% participants.

I'm sure this isn't the last thing I'll say on this topic. Stay Tuned!

Questioning the Obvious

2011-10-06T23:40:00.001-04:00

This past Sunday at church, John was preaching on generosity. He's in the middle of a series on leadership that really should be listened to if you have the chance. You can subscribe to Waterline Church on iTunes or download the sermons from the website, www.waterlinechurch.com. The passage that John used was the first 27 verses of Genesis 24, where Abraham tells his servant to go back to the land from which they came and find Isaac a wife.

The servant, upon reaching the land, prayed to God to ask for guidance in finding Isaac's wife. He was pretty specific in his prayer as to how the girl would be identified: "This is my request. I will ask one of them, ‘Please give me a drink from your jug.’ If she says, ‘Yes, have a drink, and I will water your camels, too!’—let her be the one you have selected as Isaac’s wife. This is how I will know that you have shown unfailing love to my master” (v 14). So what happens? Exactly that. Rebekah shows up, and when asked if she could give the servant a drink, how does she respond? "“Yes, my lord,” she answered, “have a drink.” And she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink. When she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink.” " (v 18-19).

Seems pretty simple from the outside point of view. The servant asked for a specific dialog, Rebekah used it. But how does the servant respond? "The servant watched her in silence, wondering whether or not the Lord had given him success in his mission" (v 21). Really? He got exactly what he asked for and wondered whether or not the Lord had given him success.

To quote my friend Bekah: "Ick."

Here's the thing. I could substitute Kristin for the word servant in that last part. "Kristin watched [insert whatever] in silence, wondering whether or not the Lord had given her success in her mission." The problem is that I've got thousands of other verses that provide assurance that prayer works. The servant didn't. In fact, in discussing this, Bill said to me that he's not even sure the servant had his own faith, and he was just relying on God to answer his prayer because Abraham had faith.

That just means that since I have my own faith, as opposed to relying on someone else's, I should probably not keep wondering if I'm getting answers and just recognize them for what they are. Ick.

A Short Letter

2011-09-26T16:59:00.003-04:00

Dear Bekah,

I miss you.

~Kristin

Aunt Kristin - Again!

2011-09-09T07:10:00.000-04:00

In the busyness that has been my life, I completely forgot to post that I became an aunt for the 8th time. My newest nephew, Chase David Holste was born on August 27 in Mason City, Iowa. His proud parents are Bill's sister Lisa and her husband Travis.

All went well with the delivery - Chase was born within 2 hours of Lisa's water breaking. A pretty quick delivery for a first baby - as I understand it. He was 21 inches and 7lbs, 9.5 oz, a nice sized baby. He's the 5th nephew on Bill's side - and for the previous nephews, he is their first cousin. As the story goes, our oldest nephew, Derek, got very excited when the family was notified that Lisa was going to the hospital. He was jumping up and down and shouting. I am sorry that I missed the display. Pretty expressive for a 12 year old boy, if you ask me. Bill and I plan to go visit at the end of this month. It's the time that works best for our schedule, and should be after the parade of friends and family have gone through.

Based on the pictures I have seen, he looks adorable. He looks less like his Uncle Bill - unlike his cousins did - and to me he doesn't strongly favor either parent. I will probably change my mind on this after I see him in person.

I'm pretty excited to have another nephew to spoil. After all these years, I'm getting pretty good at it!

(It's ironically appropriate that this post be today - on Chase's mommy's birthday!)

FOOTBALL!!!

2011-09-08T07:10:00.000-04:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year! No, not Christmas, football season! After much concern that the lockout would run so long that games would be canceled, I am happy to report that tonight kicks off the NFL season.

Of grave concern for my team, the Colts, is the status of the quarterback, Peyton Manning. While the lockout didn't affect the regular season, it did keep Peyton from rehabbing with the team trainers and medical staff. As a result, he is not anywhere ready to play. The team brought in Kerry Collins (who had retired at the end of last season) to serve as the backup, although it appears he will actually be the opening day starter.

While I wish Peyton would be ready to go on Sunday, I haVe faith in Collins to fill in until Peyton is ready. I, for one, will still be on the couch (or in my recliner) yelling and cheering for my team.

Tonight, I will be glued to the game that's on - Green Bay vs New Orleans. I don't particularly care who wins the game, but I will be enjoying the evening of excitement.

And because this is a football post, it wouldn't be complete without the ending:

GO COLTS!!!

Too Reliable?

2011-09-07T07:10:00.000-04:00

A while ago I wrote about a change in "position" I accepted at my church. The change was a shift from being the Preschool class director to joining the finance team. With work, school and life, I really didn't feel as though I could do both jobs effectively. I did realize that trying to find a new director in the summer would be difficult, so I agreed to hold down the fort until September. That would be now.

Now I'm faced with a dilemma: how do I stop being the director without leaving the kids without a leader? I agreed to the finance team provided I could continue to volunteer with the kids, but I'm starting to think I may have to take my husband's advice and tell our Family Ministry Coordinator that I can't serve in the classroom until a new preschool leader is found. I really agree with Bill that as long as I am around, there will be no sense of urgency to find a replacement.

I know that Bill is right, and although I trust him on this, I plan to discuss the situation with my mentor at our next meeting. She's already told me that she will not "allow" me to serve in both positions - because she knows me well enough to know that I would most likely kill myself trying to do it all. I don't say "No" very well, especially when children's ministry is involved (I'm very passionate about the role of the church in the development of children - a topic for another time). If I do both, I will be useless to everyone.

Any ideas from others? I'm taking all suggestions at this point!

952 Insights Into My Soul*

2011-09-06T07:10:00.000-04:00

Don't know if you've figured it out or not, but I am an opinionated person. I'm also very passionate about my opinions - but not so much so that I am unable to listen to other, contradictory opinions. However, when someone disagrees with my opinion without a decent argument or in a manner that is condescending, I will get worked up.

See, here's the thing: I make every effort to base my opinions in fact, not assumptions. For example, I recently stated that I didn't think that parents are qualified to be homeschooling teachers. This is very much so my opinion - but the fact is that a parent with a degree in math, while having taken the degree required classes in science, isn't going to be knowledgeable enough to teach anatomy. I am all for learning along with your child as a way to spend family time. It's not a great way to try and teach. No parent would tolerate a college professor teaching their child a topic with which the professor has no knowledge, yet the child is subjected to this situation as their primary way of learning during their formative years.

I digress.

At work, being opinionated gets me into some interesting conversations. This is probably why my workday is littered with the soapboxes that I've climbed on. I take pride in my work, and (to a fault) expect my coworkers to do the same. Part of that involves keeping current with changes, knowing where to find answers to questions and doing the work in accordance with the office documentation and federal regulations. I do this, and I try to nicely and in an educational manner, help my coworkers do the same.

The result? I often come across as a know-it-all. This is actually my goal: to know my job inside and out AND know where to find answers to what I may not know that well yet. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to know my job inside and out, perhaps I do need to adjust my attitude towards those who do not have the same goal as I. While I never intend to project a know-it-all attitude, apparently, to some, I do. This is something I have been trying to work on - but I know that I can't do it alone, so I've been praying for opportunities to instill my passion for my work into my coworkers - without coming across as a know-it-all.

I'll keep you posted on the progress.

*The post title comes from the movie "You've Got Mail."

Restraint Required

2011-08-24T18:15:00.004-04:00

I now understand why my friend Bekah buys books instead of making the library the primary way that she gets books to read. I'm currently reading a book that has me wanting to highlight, underline and comment in the margains; however, it's from the library, so I'm practicing restraint by not "destroying" the book that way.

I'm not going to say what the book is, because once I've finished it, I plan to post my thoughts on it. Needless to say, I will be buying it in the not so distant future so I can read it again armed with writing utensils. Plus I think Bill really needs to read it too, and it will take him longer to read it based on his work and church schedule.

I. Will. Not. Write. In. The. Library. Book.

I promise!

Free Will vs Ultimatum

2011-08-13T08:00:00.003-04:00

I recently engaged in a Facebook discussion regarding free will. By that I mean that I responded to a comment on a friend's status update, and basically ended up hijacking the page, all while sitting in class. My friend posted that he had been blessed by seminary students pouring out their passions for what God had chosen them to do, and the first commentor asked "If God chose them for it, does that mean they have no free will?" Can we say LOADED. QUESTION.

I was raised in, and still belong to, a denomination that fully agrees that all people have the God-given ability to choose which path they will walk. I also believe that God chooses people to fulfill a specific role within His kingdom, should we except it, so I responded that every one of those students could have said "no" to God's calling on their lives, thus beginning the conversation. I've posted all of it below - not so you can be amazed at my grasp of theology, but as background for my upcoming commentary:

HIM: If god chose for them to do it does that mean they have no free will?

ME: Daniel, no. Everyone of them could have said no. Ryan, we missed you too.

HIM: So if he chose them to do that and they said no wouldn't they be going against god's will?

ME: Yes it would, but free will allows for us to make the decision to not choose God. God wants us to voluntarily follow him, so He will never force us into following him. As an example - God asked (chose) Jonah to go to Ninevah to preach to the people there, and Jonah chose to go the opposite direction. Never once did God force Jonah into going to Ninevah, Jonah eventually went willingly. Every one of us has that option.

HIM: So what about the whale that ate him

ME: That was God providing Jonah another chance. He could have allowed Jonah to die...or Jonah could still have chosen to not go to Ninevah.

HIM: So he would have killed Jonah for choosing not to go to Ninevah?

HIM: Thus going against his will.

HIM: Thus basically giving him no choice in the matter other than death.

ME: Many people have died for being disobedient. Death is the natural consequence to sin. Yet choosing death is still a choice.

HIM: So it is therefore god's will or death. That's hardly free will. That's more of an ultimatum.

ME: The Bible is clear that if you chose to not follow God, the only other option is Hell. It's been that way since the Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit (an exercise of their free will). Regardless, free will says that you get to choose between the two options. God will not make the decision for you. You decide which direction you will go. The Bible says that it's God's will that all are saved. He doesn't want you to not choose Him, and He will do everything to convince you to choose Him - but He will not make the decision for you.

HIM: By saying that it is either his will or death, and man's natural instinct is survival, he is forcing them to follow his will, even if it is against their will, by threat of eternal damnation. That doesn't make much sense to me.

ME: Man's natural instinct is self and self isn't reliant on God. I would therefore argue that the instinctive choice is not God's will. If survival were the ultimate goal, there would be even more Christ followers than there already are. As it is, there are more non-Christ followers worldwide than Christ followers, so clearly survival is not the goal; serving self interest above all else is the ultimate aim.

At the point where I stated that there are two options and got the response that it sounds more like an ultimatum, I got to thinking. Why is it that free will has become synonymous with "more than 2 options"? The fact of the matter is, yes, there is a bit of an ultimatum involved, a cause and effect really. If one does not choose to follow God, one will go to Hell. Or worded as a decision: one, by not choosing God, has instead chosen Hell. There is no Biblical gray area in this. And while God will woo you until you make a decision, He will never make the decision for you. Why? Because He loves us, and love doesn't force others into doing unwanted things.

Love will lead, prompt, guide, woo, beg and plead, but will never force. Forced obedience doesn't lead to actual obedience at all, but instead shows selfishness on the part of the one imposing the force. And 1 Corinthians 13 says that love is not selfish.

Call it what you want - free will or the "better" side of an ultimatum. It boils down to the same thing: if you choose to say no to following Christ, you are choosing to go to Hell. There is no "Door #3" from which to choose.

Introducing....

2011-08-08T22:58:00.000-04:00

There is a new blogger in the Hand household. My husband Bill has started a blog. Go read it at billhand.blogspot.com, and bookmark it for future reference!

Livin' On The Edge

2011-08-03T14:31:00.000-04:00

The Sidewalk Prophets have a song out right now called "You Love Me Anyway," and while I thoroughly enjoy the song and its meaning, there is one line that really gets me thinking. Towards the end of the first verse the lyric says "Still You call me to walk/On the edge of this world," and no matter how often I hear the song I shake my head.

We're not called to walk the edge of the world, we're called to be right in there getting dirty with the sinners. Christ did this so frequently that the Pharisees got upset about it. In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ referred to his followers as the salt of the earth. Salt is no good unless it's mixed in with something. No one has ever prepared a meal with an unopened salt shaker nearby and then commented how well it was mixed into the food. There is no effect when the salt remains on the counter top unused.

Conversely, one does not want to add too much salt to a meal, because then the flavor of the food is hidden by the excess salt. We have to be careful to sprinkle our witness in a manner that allows the flavoring to be obvious without being overbearing. It's a very fine line that some choose to walk as an unused salt shaker, and others choose to walk as a leaking shaker. Being either of these does not help to further the cause of the Gospel, and in some instances, it's more detrimental than anything.

Think about where you're sprinkling salt. Are you contributing to the flavor of the lives you come in contact with, or are you merely pouring salt in a pile on the edge of the world?

***cross-posted at www.theintentionaljourney.com***

Why I Don't Cry Often: Lingering Tiredness

2011-07-27T18:08:00.003-04:00

So, sometimes life moves along just swimmingly. You may see or do things that fall into a grey area, but don't appear to have an immediate affect, so you let them slide. Why create conflict when life is good? I'm certainly not one to start an argument for the sake of needing something to say (contrary to what may be the popular belief), so here lately I was letting myself, my spouse and ultimately my marriage to head into a direction that probably wasn't the best, even though there wasn't anything "wrong" about the direction we were going.

My justification? I had confidence in my standing with regards to the way things were. That is until Sunday when I asked a question to confirm my confidence, and got an honest answer that contradicted my belief. And then I did something I rarely ever do. I cried. I cried big tears that came from way down deep. I was so stunned I didn't know what else to do, so I let the tears roll.

Eventually, the tears stopped long enough for the volcano of words to erupt. The conversation was amazing, and we discussed a plethora of items that had been lingering around the outside of our relationship - some from nearly 10 years ago. There were more tears from both sides, many apologies and promises to do differently. There was no yelling, just an even exchange between two people who were shocked at their own and the other's honesty in an extremely difficult time.

When it was time to get ready for church (we go in the evening), we were drained. We opted to not go out with our friends after church and were in bed before 9:30. This week has been good from a relationship standpoint, but we've both been so tired, even now two days after the fact.

It's worth it really, but I couldn't live like this all the time, so I'm glad that crying is not my initial response to much of anything.

Fun on the Fourth

2011-07-14T18:48:00.004-04:00

Fourth of July weekend, Bill and I drove out to Iowa to visit the Hands that live out there. For the sake of my memory, I'm just going to bullet point the highlights (in order as they come to me, not necessarily chronological):

We planned to leave around 5 am on that Saturday (ACK!). Bill woke me up to get ready to leave, and I didn't really pay attention to anything, except how fast I could get into the car to go back to sleep. When I checked the clock after we started on the trip, it was actually 3:30 am! (Double ACK!) We got to Iowa shortly after the nephews finished their breakfast.

We had plenty of nephew time (since we got there so dang early). I was struck by the fact that our 12 year old nephew is nearly as tall as me. He's at least 5'7'. I guess he's growing up.

Because it's expected of aunts and uncles to attempt to corrupt the nephews, I tried to get the youngest (age 3) to tell Bill "Shut your pie hole." What actually came out of the three year old's mouth: "Shut your pot hole." I nearly fell off the couch laughing. The two concepts have similarities!

We went with the family to the city pool, where the oldest nephew asked me to go down the waterslide that uses innertubes. I'm good with that type of waterslide, so away we went. We went down the two slides about four times each, and unfortunately for him, there was at least one time where I flew off the tube and landed on him. I did at one point tweak my lower back, but the bonding experience was worth it.

Sat in the sun during a parade...got fried. Well, at least the front of my legs and arms did. I now have an embarrassing tan line, so shorts with sandals is out for the rest of the summer. I don't have enough free time on the weekends to fix that disaster.

Went to church with F&MIL...the fill in speaker didn't show, so we sang all the patriotic songs from the hymnal, and watched a 30 minute video about how not all the framers of the constitution were atheists and deists. I could have been hanging with the nephews - or catching up on sleep from leaving so dang early the day before. Bill almost volunteered to preach a sermon off the top of his head instead of sitting through that video. Major.Waste. Of. Time.

Visited Mason City friends/family, and rounded out the weekend with a superb fireworks display. The little town next to MC floats barges out onto the lake and launches the fireworks from the water. You not only get the beauty in the sky, but the reflection on the lake is amazing.

There was a party boat on the lake that was apparently full of drunk women singing karoake. I was frequently reminded of the line from the Carrie Underword song about a "white trash version of Shania karoake". When that's going on from a boat, the power of sound to travel over water is brought to the forefront. I could have done without that part, but the booms of the fireworks drowned most of that out eventually.

We left Iowa at a much more respectable 7am, although we should have left sooner, as Bill had to work, and was nearly late because we didn't drive at warp speed.

That's it, our Iowa trip in a nutshell!

Sharing My Expertise?!?!?

2011-07-06T18:57:00.002-04:00

Last night, after having driven all day to get back from IA for Bill to get to work (more on that another day), I went to a meeting for our Family Ministry Team, and followed it up with a bachelorette party for a girl from our church who is getting married on Sunday. I should say that I was invited by my pastor's wife who is working hard to help the bride-to-be make some non-teen friends. Also as a seasoned veteran of marriage (will be 13 years in August), I was asked to come along and dispense wisdom - HA!

The event started at Cheeseburger in Paradise for a spot of dinner, and then we went to the ever exciting Target to help shop for wedding night lingerie (Victoria's Secret was closing too soon for a trip there). At this point, I felt a bit awkward, especially as our group took over the fitting room and some expected a modeling show for each item picked out since I really didn't know the girl. Thankfully for her, she wasn't nearly as bothered by it as I was, and seemed to have a good time.

Then came the next bit of exciting shopping - the family planning aisle! This is where I did the vast majority of the talking as the other two married ladies confessed to not having used condoms frequently enough to consider themselves experts. UGH! I like to impart knowledge when I can, but this was not really the topic I was hoping to discuss with a future newlywed. However, someone had to, and it got to be me.

I'm not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed, but hey, at least I could help, right?

The End of an Era

2011-07-01T08:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was a bittersweet kind of day. First off, it was the Friday before a holiday, so that's always a plus. With a trip to Iowa today, and fireworks at the lake on Monday in the future, Friday seemed to drag along. On the flip side, the day couldn't go slow enough, because it was the last day that my friend Bekah worked with me at IWU.

The past couple years have been a learning experience for both of us, and very little of the learning had to do with work. I can honestly say that we both have grown during that time. She may have thought that the conversations we were having were about getting her through the tough times she's seen over this time, but through it I learned things about myself that I don't know I would have learned without her.

Bekah loves change as much as I love going to the dentist, so the fact that she is leaving a comfort zone of sorts to do something completely different is a testament to the growth she has experienced. I am extremely proud of her willingness to follow the direction God has been leading her in this area of her life.

Next week I'm not sure what I'll do at work without having her to talk to...perhaps my in work venting will turn into a steady string of blog posts.

New Gadget

2011-06-30T18:43:00.001-04:00

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a very consistent blogger. Part of that is because I just don't know if people care about the everyday minutiae of my life, or if it's just preferred that I blog the infrequent things that eat at me until I write them down. I also don't know why it matters to me that I know what others want to read when it's my blog, so I should just post what I want. (It's a mess in my brain today!)

Regardless of that conundrum (read "disorganized mess of thought"), I've added a new doodad to the blog. Over to the right is a place to put in your email address, and when I post something new and ~~not so~~ exciting, you'll get a notification! It'll save you the time of popping over here to see that it's been 6 months since I came up with something new.

In the meantime, maybe I'll start posting the minutiae and see what happens.

Divine Disgruntlement

2011-06-14T20:00:00.003-04:00

First off, I checked with the dictionary, and disgruntlement is actually a word. I didn't want someone to be so bothered by the title that the rest of the post is lost in pondering the validity of a word - because I know if it were me, that's what would happen.

My definition of "divine disgruntlement" is this - an inexplicable turn of events that causes the status quo to change so that one is more likely to say "yes" to something that would otherwise never have been given any thought. This definition would also fit the dictionary entries for "Kristin's current life situation" and "What I just watched my friend Bekah go through." Allow me to explain.

Bekah has been telling the story of her divine disgruntlement on her blog, Bekah's Bits, this week. So for the nitty gritty details, I'd highly recommend that you pop over there after you finish here. The short story is this: Bek has been employed in the financial aid office since she was a college student. She started as a student worker, and then was offered a full time position 11 years ago. Except for the usual office drama, she enjoyed her job - until about a couple months ago. It was at that time that she started to realize that she wasn't very fond of causing students to go into debt, and that she didn't have the time to truly help each student understand the ramifications of the amounts of debt being incurred.

About the same time, a mutual friend started to confirm the uneasiness she was feeling, although I would describe the method used as questionable. However, since God can use anyone's methods to accomplish His purpose, I'm going to say that, questionable methods and all, this was in God's hands. (I should note that I am commenting after having looked back at it. At the time, I couldn't believe what was happening and would not have attributed it to God's doing.) Then this was followed by a friend of Bekah's announcing that she was going to be leaving her job, and encouraged Bekah to consider applying for the spot being vacated. After much prayer, she did...and after a couple interviews, she was offered a new job, which she has accepted and will start in the next few weeks.

I firmly believe that the seed of unease was planted by God to cause her to begin to think about the possibility that there may be something else out there that she should consider. Had the position opened up a year or two ago, I don't know that she would have even considered it.

During almost this exact same timeframe, I was offered and accepted, the opportunity to head up the preschool ministry at Waterline. I absolutely adore the preschool age group and have enjoyed every moment I have spent with the kids. However, here lately, I'd been feeling quite out of the loop. I started the month of May super psyched at the direction Waterline's Family Minsitry was going to be heading and thrilled that I'd get to have a hand in shaping the direction. I lost a few volunteers along the way due to reasons that caused me to roll my eyes, but I was ok with. The thing about leading preschoolers is that the attitude has to be right, and I'd rather be super short staffed than have volunteers who aren't passionate about preschool kids. (There will be another blog post about my feelings on the importance of preschool ministry at a later date.)

At the end of May I went on vacation, and missed a ministry team meeting. This was not unexpected; I had already stated when the meeting date was set that I was going to be out of state. June then started the disgruntlement. I didn't get an email with any meeting details. I missed the next meeting because I forgot it was taking place, and didn't get a reminder until about 10 minutes beforehand. The reminder noted that we were to have read the first two chapters of a book to be able to discuss it. I hadn't read the book, didn't even know where the book might have been to even skim the chapters, and would have been so late to the meeting that I didn't go. The next email I got was to discuss what food to bring to the training session that was coming up. No info on when or where. I didn't get those details until the rest of the church did - last Friday.

I started to tell Bill that the lack of communication was alarming to me because May saw more communication go through the Family Ministry team than February-April combined. Suddently, I was out of the loop, and rather annoyed about it. I also didn't really have the "want-to" to be the one to initiate the contact regarding what I had missed. The night of the email with the necessary details, I went over to a friend's house to help figure out what was going wrong with our label printing process, and while working on that, totally destroyed it. That prompted me to have to call my pastor's wife to ask if she had the original documents she used to set up the label printing process. She hooked me up with the necessary information, then said "When we hang up, can you please call John's phone? He has something he'd like to talk to you about." (Side note: after working on the project at home, I determined that I hadn't messed anything up at all, just did one thing out of order and didn't realize it which caused it to appear like I had messed it up. Aren't computers wonderful?)

What John wanted to say floored me. He asked me to join the finance team at the church. Don't get me wrong, I feel as though I have the right qualifications...a bachelor's degree in accounting (soon to have an information systems major added), and an MBA with emphases in management and accounting. What floored me even after the inital offer was my first thought: "I can't help with the church finances and run the preschool room at the same time." I promised to pray for 3 days about it, although the moment John mentioned it, I knew it was what I was to be doing to serve the church. I will be letting John know today that I am accepting the offer on the stipulation that I not also be the preschool director, but that I can remain as a bi-weekly volunteer, because I LOVE those kids. They energize me, even when they're throwing punches at each other. I would never have thought that I would be willing to instantly turn that position over, but I will be doing just that.

To think that all I needed was to miss a couple meetings, and feel out of the loop for about three weeks, for something major to change. Well, all that, and a big case of divine disgruntlement.

Through the Eyes of a Child

2011-05-27T08:00:00.001-04:00

Have you ever spent time observing children? Not interacting, just watching and listening to them. It's amazing how much our little ones pick up and comprehend, even at a young age and when we don't think they're looking. Not only do kids see what is going on, but they also have the gift of seeing beyond the obvious and are more in tune with the spirit of things around them.

For example, about a month ago I was sitting in my seat waiting for church to start when my friend's son asked her "Mom, when does the show start?" I laughed internally at first and then I realized that in many ways he was right. That church has been (for me at least) nothing much more than a group of people screaming "Look at us" instead of "Let us help you look at Jesus." When you boil that down, it's a show.

Are we attenders contributing to the show by half-heartedly singing along without actually worshipping? Or maybe by keeping to ourselves without reaching out to the lost? Or even by allowing the church to become comfortable instead of challenging? Hopefully not, but I fear that's the case.

There's a reason Jesus said the kingdom would be made up of those who receive Him like children. Children are trusting, loving people who are not pretentious or guarded. Perhaps if we were to start looking at the world like children, we would see our lives and the lives of others change as a result.

***crossposted at The Intentional Journey***

Follow Up Thoughts

2011-05-18T08:00:00.002-04:00

A while back, I was asked to give my thoughts on why I do not intend to homeschool, should I ever have children. I posted it here to no fanfare or comments. However, the comments on the collaborative blog to which I also contribute BLEW UP! (you can re-read the post and see all the comments here.) It may have been the most commented column thus far for that blog. With only one exception, the comments were all from pro-homeschoolers. After reading all the comments, I wanted to respond, but I thought that adding another lengthy comment to the list seemed silly since I have my own blog, so I'm responding here.

The majority of the commentors took exception with my first point - unqualified teachers. They went out of their way to detail the numerous hours spent assessing cirriculum. That's fine. I spent some time reviewing cirriculum online and was struck by the fact that most of them touted being easy to use, complete with pre-written lesson plans. No thought required! No topical expertise required either. That proves my point really.

Only one person mentioned teaching her children opposing viewpoints or doing any critical thinking projects (point #2). I'm taking the lack of response to that topic as confirmation that I am right. It was also interesting to note that no supporters were either able or willing to assess my opinions from outside of their passion for homeschooling (a cruicial part of critical thinking - remove the emotion), so clearly critical analysis is not in their vocabulary. I don't think there's a pre-written lesson plan for that. Many commentors resorted to name calling - also a sign of an inability to deal with opposing view points.

Point #3 recieved a couple of comments, although only one wrote to defend her family as being in the world. I had already identified that family as being an exception to that based on prior writings by the commentor. One person appeared to justify not being in the world by yelling that the Bible doesn't call children to evangelism. It is my belief that all Christians are called to share their faith. Christ did not place age restrictions on who could be saved, so if you believe that your child can accept Christ at a young age - and know what it means to have done so - then their upbringing should also include situations where faith sharing and building occur. Otherwise, they become adults who haven't had their faith tested and also have no clue how to share their faith. Based on the Bible not being specific on this topic, I guess I will have to tell the 10 year old that I know who started a Bible Study (with the help and encouragement of his parents) to teach Jesus to his unchurched friends, that he's not supposed to be doing that, and he should stop.

Even still, that wasn't the point I was trying to make. I was specifically speaking to the fact that he whole family was hiding under the bushel. Parents who do not have ways to develop relationships with non-believers also aren't shining their lights, and as mentioned before, are therefore not teaching their kids how to either. Just to note, I am aware that the bushel effect is not exclusive to homeschooling families.

Three other comments I read stuck with me, and I feel require being addressed:
1) Colleges LOVE homeschooled students

Colleges love anyone who is willing to pay tuition. I do know that the government is becoming leery of the education recieved by students claiming to have homeschool diplomas to the extent that sometimes those students have to take a test to determine if they are actually able to handle college coursework. It's called the Ability to Benefit test, and not passing it can result in no financial aid eligibility.

2) Pubilc schools only teach kids bad language, where to score drugs and which teachers allow texting.

I learned the majority of this list from my church youth group. The texting point is moot for me, since texting wasn't invented while I was in school. In fact, I learned a lot of eye-opening info not from my public school friends, but from people in my youth group.

3) I don't want my child to grow up too fast.

Sending your child to college at 16 isn't helping them grow up too fast? I don't care if they live at home and commute, college is not for 16 year olds. Heck, college sometimes isn't for 18-20 year olds. Subsequently, releasing your child into the workforce at 19-20 is also causing them to grow up too quickly. It does get them out of the house quicker, in theory, so maybe that's the actual endgame.

Finally, I still haven't seen any links to support the statistics given in prior posts in favor of homeschooling. I just hope their children learn how to cite sources before getting to college, or it could be difficult for them.

Zip It Sometimes, Hand!

2011-05-16T08:00:00.002-04:00

I like to think that I have a talent or two. I can carry a tune, and can even pick out a harmony when I feel like it. I used to be a pretty good violist, and know my way around a piano. I bake a mean chocolate chip cookie and make pretty good home made pizza.

Unfortunately, I have at least one no-so-positive talent: the ability to say whatever crosses my mind, often with minimal tact. In some instances, this "talent" can go unchecked, and here in the blogosphere, it often does. I do try to make sure not to name or bad mouth people specifically. It has always been my practice to use people to illustrate the point that I am ranting on, instead of ranting on the people themselves.

Part of the reason that I have this "talent" is because, with few exceptions, I don't get too worked up over what others think of me. Also, as Bill can attest, I'm often right in my thinking, which doesn't help when coupled with the lack of tact in my delivery.

Those closest to me know of this talent, and in most cases, tolerate my brashness. Sometimes, though, I misuse the talent, as was the case recently. One day I may master the subtle art of tact. Until then, I will have to make sure I don't forget how to say "I'm sorry" when I hurt people's feelings.

Everything Old Is New Again

2011-05-14T08:00:00.002-04:00

One of the things I like to do is give my opinion on topics that don't matter in the long run. One of these topics is old earth vs. new earth and how it relates to a literal six days of creation. Here's why it doesn't matter: salvation hinges on believing that Christ came, died, and rose again and in doing so, paved the way for all who believe to enter Heaven. Beyond that, it's all irrelevant but fun to discuss.

I believe in a literal six days of creation. God used six consecutive twenty-four hour time periods to create everything, and rested on day seven. The purpose in creation was to create a people who would choose to worship God, unlike the angels who don't have that option. I also believe that immortality was part of the original plan. Time was not important - except that there were days and nights which were necessary for the growth of God's creation.

The Bible doesn't say how long Adam and Eve were in the garden before their run-in with the serpent. However, because Genesis 2 is the story of man's beginning and chapter 3 details the fall, some are lead to believe that the fall happened the very next day. Personally, I'd like to give them a bit more credit than that. It is entirely possible that Adam and Eve were in the garden for many millennia before being kicked out. Since time wasn't important, no one kept track.

Adam and Eve knew an easy life, saw the plants watered daily with no effort on their part, and evening strolls through the garden with God himself. I also think that they had children prior to the fall. This would explain how Cain found a wife so quickly. If we believe that God only created 2 humans to start, where did the rest of them come from? They had to be part of Adam and Eve's offspring. Also, if Eve hadn't had any children, part of the curse after the fall wouldn't have made sense. Eve's part of the curse says that she would experience pain in childbirth. This only has teeth as a curse if Eve had known childbirth without pain. Having not had a child myself, I am aware that childbirth is painful, but because I haven't gone through it (with or without pain) that means nothing to me. It is an empty threat at best.

Age isn't mentioned until after the fall - when time began to matter. It's amazing what we keep track of when we know there's going to be an end eventually. We have assumed that Adam's age mentioned in the Bible is based on his creation day; however, it is also possible that the counting started after the expulsion from Eden. Thus the earth could be both billions of years old and created in six literal days.

Again, none of the preceding matters. If it did, the Scriptures would be clear on the topic. It would be documented. However, everyday life for an unknown period of time isn't vital for salvation, so it wasn't mentioned and shouldn't be a topic upon which a stake should be driven. It is, however, fun to discuss!

Just Blah

2011-04-26T17:55:00.000-04:00

I'm not feeling very positive at this particular moment, which is kind of pathetic because today is a pretty good looking day. The sun is shining and that's something new for this month. I feel pretty good, although I still have a cough and sound a bit like a man. So really, I should be in a positive frame of mind.

Therefore, I will preface the following by saying that the statements below reflect my current state of mind and are meant as a somewhat sarcastic but mostly venting, and are my current thoughts. I will likely not feel this way tomorrow, unless the pattern continues.

Today I checked my emails and see "decline," "decline," "decline" and I start to wonder why we offer a choice even exists. Perhaps I expect too much. I was of the impression that being a volunteer meant a willingness to help. Apparently, I have misunderstood the definition of volunteer. Based on the events of today, it means to say that you'll help, but when asked to do so, you will decline - and for any number of reasons.

As a result, I will be missing a part of an event for which I had paid to attend because of the rash of "declines." Hopefully, I won't have to cut a vacation short at the end of the month for the same reason. If so, I will do so joyfully, because the kids shouldn't be caught up in the "declines." They deserve a teacher who loves Jesus and cares for them regardless of whether it's a holiday or not.

We're talking about being pitchers instead of cups on Tuesday nights. The problem with being a pitcher is that sometimes you don't have the opportunity to pour in to cups or bowls or even other pitchers. Sometimes you just dump yourself on the ground. When that happens, you just hope that maybe you're watering a seed, but you realize that you're probably just making a mud puddle.

I feel better, I think.

Tired, But Not Necessarily Sleepy

2011-04-09T11:30:00.012-04:00

I am tired. There's really no simpler way to put it. Forty hours of work, a full-time school load, and commitments at two separate churches are starting to wear my down. Please do not get me wrong. I love everything that I am doing, and I believe that I am supposed to be doing all of the above, but I am tired.

Part of my inability to rest has stemmed from the fact that we have been a one car family in a two car world for the better part of the calendar year. This has resulted in in both of our schedules being inconvenienced, and each of us has had to do with less sleep than we'd prefer. Thankfully, this should be solved soon (more on that in a later post). The one car tango, as I call it, is very limiting so things I would tend to do to relax have been cut out to be sure to get Bill once his shifts are over.

If I'm being honest, I'm also not resting because I just don't want to. Busy is good in my opinion. Unfortunately, busy is also tiring. Yesterday, when heading back to work after having dropped Bill off for his shift, I heard a song that was completely unfamiliar to me, but the moment I heard it I had a feeling that God was trying to tell me something. The song is called "Come Rest" and is sung by Lindsey McCaul (an artist that prior to yesterday, I had never heard of). The full lyrics are at the end of the post. What struck me was the chorus:
                     When You say come, rest -should I be working so hard

                     When You say love, rest -did You want hands or my heart
                      'Cause I have done my best and still I miss the mark
                      But I remember You said its done
                      So I come

Don't we all feel this way at some point? That if we're in ministry, or active in our church, or tithing as commanded - doing everything "right" - that it should be enough. When really, all we have to do is accept the gift that Christ so freely gave, and then abide in Him. Our works will flow out of our love for Christ and his gift, but until we have taken the time to rest in him, we're not going to have the right attitude.

I'm starting to realize that slowing down is good - for the body, the mind and the soul. I'm going to make an intentional effort to do so in the upcoming weeks. Will you join me?

Come Rest by Lindsey McCaul

Busy, busy me, full of self-sufficiency

I have tried so fervently to earn Your love
But any joy that I once found is wearing off, is winding down
And I can hear You in the madness calling out

When You say come, rest -should I be working so hard
When You say love, rest -did You want hands or my heart
'Cause I have done my best and still I miss the mark
But I remember You said its done
So I come

So convinced that it was right, adding weight to what was light
Seeking value in Your sight, but I was wrong
For all the labor I have done is but a candle to the sun
And I can see that it would never measure up

When You say come, rest -should I be working so hard
When You say love, rest -did You want hands or my heart
'Cause I have done my best and still I miss the mark
But I remember You said its done
So I...

Come to the water's edge
I rest in Your promises
That all You ever wanted was me here
And if there's nothing left that I can do
To earn the love I need from You
Then all that's left to want is to be near
So I come...when You say come...

When You say come, rest -should I be working so hard
When You say love, rest -did You want hands or my heart
'Cause I have done my best and still I miss the mark
But I remember You said its done
So I come

My Homeschooling Thoughts

2011-04-08T17:30:00.000-04:00

**I was asked by to write this post for another blog for which I am a guest contributor, The Intentional Journey. I have chosen to post it here also. There will be a post on the Journey blog with the thoughts of a homeschooling mother as well. If you want to know when each one posts on the Journey blog, drop me a comment and I'll let you know.**

One of the most important decisions a parent has to make concerns the education of their child. This is not a decision to take lightly as a child's education is the foundation for the remainder of the child's life. This foundation is not only necessary for learning the three "R's" but also for learning social and spiritual lessons. This is why it is my contention that, with a few exceptions, children should not be home schooled. I do not deny that public school systems - and even some private schools - have changed drastically in the 15+ years since I graduated high school. I do think that these changes have coincided with the mass exodus of Christian families from said districts. The only way to turn the tide is by keeping kids in public schools.

I'll start with exceptions. Homeschooling is the most logical option in the following cases: 1) instances where the child has a legitimate reason why traditional school would truly be a detriment to the child, such as a chronic illness, and 2) instances where the child's parents are in a profession that does not allow for access to a school district such as missionaries and other full time travelling ministries.

And now for a few reasons why homeschooling is not as beneficial as public school:

1) Homeschooling is often done by unqualified parents.

Young children often believe that adults know everything, when really they do not. While a parent may be able to (and should, in my opinion) teach the child the alphabet, how to write, and even some simple math, there will come a time when where it will be impossible to teach a topic due to lack of knowledge on the parent's part. The solution for this tends to be a video series that will teach the child, which stands very little chance of keeping the child's attention. Additionally, for a child's home school graduation to result in a valid diploma, the parent has to stay on top of ever changing state laws surrounding graduation requirements. If something is missed, the child could face difficulties when s/he attempts to go to college.

2) Homeschooling does not provide the child opportunities to hear varying opinions on topics.

Critical thinking skills are necessary to develop prior to entering the workforce. Unfortunately, only being taught by one person does no result in any opinion by the parents' being voiced. Certain hot button topics exist in the world - the most volatile of which is creation vs. evolution and whether one, none or both viewpoints should be taught in the public school system. Parents shouldn't shield their children from concepts about which the parents don't believe, rather the child should be given the option to hear both sides and be encouraged to make a decision after thinking through it. Instead of saying "This is how it is," parents should explain what they believe and why, then step back and watch the child's brain process all the information. I think too many parents are worried that despite their best efforts, the child may decide to believe something that is not their parents' beliefs. One day an employer is going to want the child to be able to assess two options and be able to support the option chosen. If a child isn't taught this within his/her schooling (or even provided the opportunity to do so) then keeping employment may be difficult.

3) The Bible calls us to be "in the world but not of it."

When a family's life only centers around going from home to church and back, with short little jaunts to co-op or little league, the family does not have the opportunity to be a light - or at least not an effective one. It is at that point that the house becomes the bushel under which the light (the family) is hidden. The public school system is a prime mission field that is being ignored and from which parents are fleeing. Where parents should be seizing the opportunity to show the love of Christ to teachers and fellow parents, they are instead running away to avoid getting dirty. Subsequently, in later years of the child's life there is not an opportunity for the child to have their faith tested or questioned, or ever need to defend what they believe. This creates a generation of Christians who, once out on their own, are likely to drift from their faith due to not actually having any roots. In effect, they are the seed planted in the rocky soil that grows, but withers when the sun beats down on it.

Therefore, it is my family's decision that should we be blessed with the responsibility of parenting, our children will be taught by public school teachers where ever it is we are living at that time. I strongly encourage all parents to think of the eternal impact their family can have by forging a strong relationship with their public school system

Mountaintops Give Way to Valleys - Usually

2011-03-03T07:00:00.001-05:00

Just a few weeks ago I blogged about the inordinate number of blessings we have be receiving in the wake of being obedient to God's calling on our lives. Our car had broken down and more htan enough money came in to get it fixed. Our new rental rates kicked in and we won a drawing that reduced the first month's rent. The lest went on, and we were giving God all the glory for it because like Leroy Jethro Gibbs of NCIS fame, we don't believe in coindicences.

Then came Monday. An exceptionally rough one for me from the get-go thanks to tornado sirens at 2am. By the time I could have felt safe about sleeping again, it was less than two hours until my alarm would go off, so I grabbed the remote, turned on the TIVO'ed episodes of NCIS that were waiting for me, and settled in for a couple hours of Special Agent Timothy McGee. I headed off to work mostly tired and knowing it would be a long day since I had class right after work.

At work, I misread a couple emails, sent some completely incorrect responses (with follow up correct responses) and then got a phone call from Bill. His first question caught me off guard - "Did you see my car when you left for work?" I thought to myself "what kind of question is that?" I told him that I looked around long enough to find my car and leave, I didn't pay attention to his. Turns out, I couldn't have paid attention to it because it was gone! No longer in the parking lot! So I had to leave work to go get him so he could go to work. That part worked out well because then I didn't have to drive home after class more than half asleep. WE confirmed with the apartment office that they hadn't requested that the car be towed, and drove through all the sections of the complex to see if it had just been moved, and have resigned ourselves to the fact that it was stolen.

All the cars in the parking lot, and someone decides to take a '91 Buick LeSabre. We expect the car has already been mostly disassembled and sold for its parts, so we don't anticipate hearing that it has been recovered. We also don't expect to see someone driving it around town. It's a little too obvious for that with it's white/gray cow-spotted looking paint job (several places where the paint is so gone, you can see the primer), it's maroon plush interior, and Cubs bumper sticker. However, if you do see it, please call the Indy Metro Police Department because we'd really like it back.

Looking around this little valley, I see that it was prepared for me in advance. Last month we did the "one car tango" while saving up to fix th eother car, so sharing again won't be much more than an annoyance. Truly, I am grateful for the timing, because had this happened two weeks ago, we wouldn't have had any functional cars. I had one week of "freedom" - which allowed me to keep a work commitment I had made. There are no more of those on the horizon, so we don't have to figure out how one of us can be in Castleton and the other in Greenwood at the same time. (It's two opposite sides of the city for those not current on their Indy Metro area geography.)

So here's to starting the saving process all over again so we can get another work car - without a car payment. And here's to hoping we can stay sane as we again do the one car tango for the next little while. Hopefully, we won't step on each others' feet too badly.

What Do You Expect?

2011-03-02T07:00:00.005-05:00

I've been pondering several things lately, not the least of which has been my current church life. As I said previously, Bill & I have been called to and have started attending a new church that literally just began. That means currently we go to one church in the morning and continue our service commitments there and then repeat the process at another church in the evening. We are usually very energized but simultaneously drained by the end of the day. However, we couldn't be happier about it because we are doing God's work in both places.

What strikes me is how different the churches are from each other. The Sunday morning church tends toward being stoic and sometimes even stuffy. Not much clapping to the music, due largely to the music generally trending towards slow over fast. It's very routine - a trait I generally prefer - to the extent that I don't know that anything unplanned would be allowed to take place. Sunday nights are exactly the opposite in that there's a plan but no concrete. I like flexibility in my churches because I sometimes wonder if the Spirit is hindered by our rigidity.

Sunday morning church a week ago started a sermon series on the Holy Spirit - who he is, what he does etc. Given our church's demographic, we really shouldn't need introduced to the Holy Spirit, unless it's like a reintroduction to someone it's been a while since we've seen. "Holy Spirit meet Church, Church meet Holy Spirit." Could we really have come to this? Sunday morning church has felt to me like a string of lectures or keynote addresses. Well researched, well developed and well spoken. No umph. Is it any wonder that the church doesn't appear to be going anywhere? There's no sense of urgency, no call to action, only a string of ways to be obedient to gain personal rewards and bolster self-confidences. Honestly, I have no time for that.

By sharp contrast, Sunday night church is fluid, organized and structured - all while knowing that at any moment the Spirit may take the service in a completely different way than planned. My first Sunday listening to the sermon (instead of being with the children) was clear evidence of that, and it was great! The pastor's willingness to sense the Spirit and obey His leading was refreshing. I almost felt like I was at youth camp again with the nearly palpable moving of the Spirit that occurred. It was amazing and the same type of "feeling" as we experienced during the preview services. I truly believe that our pastor feels that the service as a whole is sacred, but no one part of the service is so sacred that it can't be removed or skipped over if the Spirit prompts.

I grew up being taught that when we go to church we should go expecting something to happen. Judging by some Facebook comments I have read, we're almost surprised when the Spirit "shows up." He's always there, we just don't allow Him to do His thing. I'll confess some Sunday mornings I go to church with no extraordinary expectations. I expect worship music, announcements & offering, more singing, a sermon and more singing. Do you know what? That's exactly what I get. My Sunday night attitude is completely different. I expect to sense the moving of the Spirit and expect to be challenged in my thinking and again, I'm not disappointed.

Two churches - the same day - two totally different viewpoints. Amazing, isn't it?

R.S.V.P.!

2011-02-25T18:00:00.005-05:00

Is it so hard to respond to an email? I'll e honest sometimes it my take me a few days depending on my work, school and church schedules, but eventually you'll get a response. This has not be the case for some emails I have sent this month - or even this year.

I run the kid's quizzing program for the church I attend on Sunday mornings. The fun thing about quizzing is that it has a competition piece to it. My team is in its first year, so we're trying to figure out how all this works. I emailed the district quiz director this past summer to let her know we would be joining this year and to ask that I be included on any communications regarding the upcoming season. That email got a response and a promise that I'd be included. Also mentioned was a summer meeting for all directors.

I should have known when we got to September and I hadn't received a single quizzing email that perhaps this wasn't a direction for us to go; however, it was too late to try and find a different plan - plus we had already bought the supplies. We jumped in with both feet and started studying 1 & 2 Samuel. We've learned stories that I hadn't read in years, and the kids were pumped. With still no notice about a schedule, we kept to a one lesson a week pace and answered what seemed like a million multiple choice questions.

THEN I got an email in October saying that the first meet would be in November (about 2 weeks after the email) and would cover the first 8 lessons. We were no where close to having 8 lessons done, so for the sake of the kids, I decided we would not compete in the first meet. Bill & I did drive over to watch the meet so we would know how to practice for the future. I met the director and picked up a schedule of meets, which I have since misplaced.

I knew the next meet would be in January and be close to our church, so we geared up for it. I assigned homework over Christmas break to make sure we'd get all the lessons done and have time to practice proper quiz etiquette. Then came a text message saying that too many churches weren't prepared for a January meet, so they were moving the meet to Super Bowl Sunday - same time, same place. We kept practicing, and the weather decided to dump a bunch of snow and ice on our area, so the rescheduled meet was canceled. Currently, my kids are bored, and I completely understand. Pulling numbers out of a box every week is boring. They need the excitement of a meet to give them reason to study.

Meanwhile, I emailed to ask for another copy of the schedule (as in during January sometime). I have not gotten a response to that email. This past week, I decided to look at the district calendar to see if maybe the information was out there - and it was! Unfortunately, it didn't say where to be, or what to review, so I set up a schedule for the kids that would get the rest of the book worked through by the date I saw online. Not expecting an answer, I emailed again to ask about what would be covered so we could prep accordingly. I was not disappointed - no answer.

Wednesday night, a parent asked about the next meet, so I went to the district calendar to confirm the date and location and found that IT HAD CHANGED! It had been moved up two weeks, but at least now lists what was going to be quizzed on. And I didn't get an email saying the calendar had changed.

I emailed my children's director (who happens to be the denominational children's director) to void my complaints and ask for the district children's director to be made aware. My director will do that because she's good that way. I'm beginning to wish we'd never decided to quiz - and I'm a quizzing alum myself. I am taking comfort in the fact that the kids are learning to read and study the Bible regardless of someone else's disorganized method of running the show. I have also been making every effort to be tactful when trying to explain that I'm not the disorganized one, but that I'm merely trying to keep up with the one who is spearheading the effort. It's been a long year for all this.

All that to say this: If I email you, please respond!

Who Me?

2011-02-08T19:00:00.001-05:00

I know that my blog is not a hotbed of activity, but I also know that there are some who read what I write. Therefore I was surprised when my friend emailed me to say that he enjoys reading what I write, and wanted to know if I wanted to be a guest author on the blog he currently moderates. I was floored (although secretly, I had hoped he'd ask).

I accepted his invitation, and tomorrow my first post will appear on The Intentional Journey. I'm extremely humbled and equally excited to be a part of the collaborative effort that he has started.

If you have time tomorrow, pop over there and check it out!

Did You Mean Me? ~ Todd Agnew

2011-01-28T23:09:00.000-05:00

I heard this today on a Christian station out of the UK. It comes from Todd's CD "Need" which I will be downloading soon. I don't believe this is the "official" video, but the lyrics are official. Listen close...and enjoy.

Insulted By a Stranger

2011-01-27T19:00:00.019-05:00

Last night after quiz practice, Bill and I stopped at Meijer to pick up cat food, because apparently, the cats have to eat too. And when they run low on food, they whine. I think they get that from their parents. Anyways....

I had my arm tucked into Bill's because the parking lot was still pretty slick, and as we walked into the store, Van Halen's song "Jump" was playing on the muzak. While heading to the pet food, we were half talking, half singing along, and as the chorus got to the word "Jump" I pulled up on Bill's arm (not too roughly). There are several "jump" references in the chorus, and during one arm-pulling we pass a girl who glances at us and I hear her say "That looks stupid." I nearly stopped in the middle of the aisle, but Bill wouldn't let me. I did look around quickly to confirm she was shopping alone, so she was either talking to me or herself. Given the timing, I'm going with it being that she was talking to me.

I'm a dork and I know it. I do things like try to convince Bill to jump to a song by pulling on his arm. It's my idea of fun at the end of a very long day. While it may be odd looking, stupid is a pretty strong word to use. I'm going to guess that when she's out with her friends she does things that might qualify for the exact same adjective.

I can only imagine what she would have said had I actually jumped.

Counting Blessings

2011-01-22T19:27:00.001-05:00

This week has been one for the ages. Before I can explain one part, I must give a little background. On our whirlwind Christmas tour, our car starting making an annoying noise. It started about halfway across Illinois on our way to Iowa, and continues to this day. After being home a week, Bill took the car to the shop for a diagnosis. The estimate? $1500! This is something we don't have laying around, so right now the car is parked, and we are sharing one car. It's not the greatest thing, especially since one of us works retail, but we're making it work.

Ok, now back to my week.

As I blogged about earlier, we made the decision to change churches this week. A big decision for us, but one with which we are very content. Bill's talk with our current pastor went well. It could have gone several different directions, but it went well. Further confirmation that we're heading in the right direction.

Also, I finished another class with flying colors! That's 3 classes, and 3 "A's." Since I'm learning completely new things, I'm supremely excited about how well these classes are going.

I tell you what, any more of these exciting weeks, and I may just burst!

A Difficult Decision

2011-01-20T18:32:00.000-05:00

For the past few months (maybe even longer), I have had some serious concerns regarding the direction our church has been heading. Perhaps I should say serious concerns that our church has no direction to head. Since the selection of our current pastor, our church's population has gotten older and less involved in attempting to reach the people of Fishers. In fact, the last sort of vision presentation our pastor gave centered around how to get the people we already have more involved - without much emphasis on bringing new people into the fold. Currently, people aren't getting involved, and new people aren't coming.

I believe that the primary reason for this is our church's refusal to put any sort of focus on the children's ministry. Especially since our church is located in Fishers, where the average age of the residents is 33, and the vast majority of those have children (for example, Hamilton Southeastern Schools is the fastest growing school district in the state of Indiana, and it's the district that literally surrounds our church). Yet, the children's department has only enough money to cover the cost of the curriculum that's being used on Sundays. As I've previously stated on this blog, our church seems to consider the children's "ministry" to be a thing to keep the kids occupied so the parents can learn uninterrupted.

As a result, Bill and I have been seriously leaning towards leaving this church after the end of our responsibilities, so basically in May. This leaning was confirmed, and became a finalized decision this past week as we prayed about our future in the ministry. The best part is that the church we will be changing to will allow us to be involved NOW while wrapping up our work where we are, due to the fact that the primary service for the new church is Sunday evening, and we have no responsibilities on Sunday evenings where we currently attend.

We have been led to become a part of the Waterline Church movement, a church plant started by our friends John and Danielle Freed that is serving Noblesville, Indiana. John was the Youth Pastor where we currently attend prior to answering the call to church plant. We are super excited about the opportunity to be involved with a church that is intentional in reaching the lost in Noblesville.

We have made some great friends at our current church, and will miss each of the children we've come to know and love. However, we must remain true to what we've been trying to teach the kids, and are going where God is leading at this time. We have spoken to our current pastor as to our decision, and he has graciously agreed that we can continue the work we are doing for the children as well as to begin helping with the work of Waterline.

If you're ever in Noblesville at 5:30 on a Sunday evening, stop by the Hamilton County Sports Complex for an amazing time of worship, learning and fellowship for all the members of your family.

Hidden Objects

2011-01-15T18:47:00.000-05:00

Here lately I've been playing a lot of hidden object games online. They're not my favorite, but I realized today that they're not as bad as I originally thought. Today as I was playing, I realized that there's somethings about life that can be learned from a hidden object game.

In case you're not aware of what a hidden object game is, it's a game that generally uses scenes cluttered with all kinds of objects, and then provides you a list of things to find within the time limit. Usually, throughout the course of the game, you'll find yourself back in the same scene looking for different items. There also tends to be a button you can push to get a hint if you're totally at a loss to find something.

Since this week has been dominated with church-related thoughts and searching for direction, I couldn't help but realize that life isn't a hidden object game. We have been entrusted with the answers, we sometimes just need to look for them or, as my friend Bekah has been learning, we just need to ask the question.

In studying the Parables over the past several weeks, I was completely struck by something Jesus said to the disciples after they asked him why he was using parables to teach the crowds. Matthew 13:11 (NIV) reads "He replied, 'The knowledge of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.'" Christ's disciples have the knowledge of the kingdom of heaven. Other translations say the "secrets of the kingdom." That means that, as Christians, we've got inside information that the rest of the world doesn't have. We should take comfort in the fact that we're entrusted with this information, and we should be sharing it.

Hidden object games frustrate me and give me headaches. I'm so glad that my real life isn't an hidden object game!

Things That Make Ya Go Hmmmm

2011-01-12T20:59:00.000-05:00

I've been holding off my comments on this topic for a few days to calm down about the whole situation. I've tried with my blog to not rant when actually angry, much like I try to do with my verbal conversations. So here goes.

Bill and I are over-involved in our church, to put it mildly. Bill is in charge of children's programming for the second hour of church, I fill in on Sundays where needed, and run our church's quizzing program on Wednesday nights. Since September, I can literally count on one hand the number of Sundays we have not been in church. (The number is 2 if you're wondering.) We're not the most visible couple due to our work keeping us behind the scenes, but I'm fairly confident that there are very few people in the church who don't know who we are.

This past Sunday we were relaxing, watching football, and discussing the direction our life has been heading when Bill's phone rang. He looked at it, didn't recognize the number, and then answered it. His side of the conversation was pretty short - the occasional "uh huh" "yeah" "no we don't" etc, and then he hung up. I asked who it was, and he said, "I didn't catch her name but she was calling to make sure we were aware of the chili cook-off at the end of the month and to ask if we had anything to contribute to the silent auction." I was stunned...we had been telemarketed BY OUR OWN CHURCH and on a Sunday no less.

Probably a good thing that I didn't answer, because my response would have been, "We are always at church, bring home multiple bulletins, and read the slides prior to the service. We also get the church's weekly email, which we actually read. We are aware of the fundraiser you are planning, which we noticed is following closely on the heels of last month's gathering that required paying for tickets which was preceeded by your group's plea for us to eat at a restaurant to raise money. We have nothing else to give for another fundraiser. Oh and how do I get put on the "do not call" list for your organization?"

I'm pretty sure I won't be at the cook-off. I think I have to wash my hair that evening.

What I'd Really Like to Say

2011-01-07T18:00:00.005-05:00

One of my job functions is to respond to emails sent to our office from students and internal offices. Some days it's my favorite thing to do. Today, not so much. It had quite a bit to do with the fact that the co-worker for whom I had to cover emails yesterday due to illness, called in sick again today, so I had to answer emails on consecutive days while my other work silently taunted me from the binder I keep it in.

I recieved several emails regarding students about whom we had provided information a mere 2 days ago, wondering if the paperwork we had mentioned in our information had been recieved yet. In an effort to keep my job, I responded to each email politely and correctly. However, as I was venting to Bekah regarding my dislike for the stupid emails, I sent her an IM with the exact wording I'd prefer to use. Then I felt much better. I also thought it was too good to keep between us, so I'm going to post it here.

This is what I'd really like to say:

"Listen here, we just told you this 2 days ago. No student on the planet turns paperwork around in 2 days, especially when the form requires that a financial aid officer sign it. Also, in case you can't read, it clearly states that the student doesn't currently have Pell eligiblity because they show enrolled at another school. Since you apparently live under a rock, you need to know that the government does not update anything in a timely manner, so 2 days is also not enough time for that information to be updated as well. Email back next year."

A New Start

2011-01-01T18:48:00.000-05:00

Every year, my friend Bekah prayerfully considers the devotional book that she will use for the new year. I've never done that, but felt inspired by her to do so this year. So, I headed to the Family Christian bookstore armed with a Christmas gift card, and praying for God to show me what He would have me study.

I found the "Fresh Life" series of devotionals. Four books written by Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose. I purchased the first book, entitled "Live Deeply: A Study in the Parables of Jesus," and the second book, called "Live Fearlessly: A Study in the Parables in Joshua." Each book is divided into week long lessons (book one has 10 weeks of lessons, book two has 13 weeks' worth). I'll be going back for books three and four once I have the additional cash. (Book three is "Live Intimately: Lessons from the Upper Room," and book four is "Live Relationally: Lessons from the Women of Genesis" in case you were wondering)

One aspect of these devotionals is that it strongly encourages journaling, something I've never done, so then I had to go buy a journal. I'm excited to begin these studies and to start journaling. Maybe I'll uncover a whole new talent I didn't know I had.

Wow, What a Year!

2010-12-28T18:33:00.000-05:00

As is the norm when a year comes to an end, people tend to reflect on the year that was. I am not going to buck the trend, as my year has been extremely eventful. I'm going to go month by month, revisiting some things I've already blogged about, and revealing somethings that happened that I didn't blog about before.

January - We signed a lease on a new apartment in a much better neighborhood, and began to slowly move things from one place to the other, hoping to not have to do all the moving and cleaning in one weekend. It also kept us from having to find a slew of boxes to move it all at once. We took several tubs of things over, unpacked them, then took the empties back to the other place.

February - We took a week vacation to Florida by way of my Aunt's in southeastern Ohio, and my sister's in North Carolina. We watched the Super Bowl in NC, and were disappointed when our beloved Colts lost the game. Following that, we headed to bed, only to get a phone call that our new apartment was on fire due to a neighbor leaving grease on the stove and running to the store. We lost basically everything that we had moved to the new place, with the exception of a few things. We continued on to St. Augustine for the remainder of our vacation, and relaxed as best we could given the mess we knew we would come back to. We spent the rest of the month dealing with insurance agents, the apartment management team, and family members who were using our house as a storage facility. All in all, it turned out ok, but it made for a long month.

March - We moved into the new apartment, and shortly after moving in, lost our cat EJ. She has been greatly missed. Also in March, I volunteered to discuss the financial aid process with prospective students. For some reason, the prospect of speaking sent me into a full on panic attack. Besides the obvious effects of a panic attack, I was a bit perturbed that public speaking was triggering that type of reaction, especially on a topic about which I am more than familiar. I had no idea that one panic attack would trigger a chain of events that would take me on a whirlwind tour of medical professionals.

April - A trip to the ER prompted a search for a family doctor, who did an EKG to see why my heart rate was elevated, and then ordered an echocardiogram - both of which came back fine. Then came the blood pressure medication, and a trip to the lovely ob/gyn. In non-medical decisions, I started reading through the 1001 Books to Read Before You Die list. (I'm still working on that list, just not reading them very quickly due to school).

May - I'm thinking that May was pretty uneventful, just additional doctor visits for check ups, and an ultrasound at the ob/gyn to determine what was causing me to have a particular issue I was having.

June - The ultrasound revealed another issue, as well as a diagnosis of poly-cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). The issue required an appointment for an endometrial biopsy. In non-medical news, I got the opportunity to walk on the field at Lucas Oil Stadium, then watch a Colts practice. The end of the month brought my re-entry into school, after a six month wait. It took a while to get back into the groove, but I am holding my own!

July - The air conditioner in our apartment decided that it was tired of working, and it took 3 different visits by the maintenance team to get it all squared away. Additionally, our kitchen and bathrooms got a full upgrade to bring them into the 21st century. I had the biopsy done at the end of the month, and then got to wait a week for the results. Also, July brought the arrival of my niece Ansley.

August - We drove to Iowa to attend a wedding, and along the way, stopped at a Cubs game. I also received a phone call from my ob/gyn to tell me that the biopsy came back with an abnormality that would require a three-month treatment plan, and a subsequent biopsy. This was the first point at which I was actually worried about my health. Also this month, I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and have been working to manage that diagnosis.

September - My Birthday! I celebrated with a little trip to a Colts game...the home opener was on my birthday and was against the Giants, so 2 Mannings for the price of one! We won the game, which also helped make it a great birthday. I also spent 3 weeks in classes learning about diabetes and how to live with it. My goal with the diabetes is to get to the point where medication and sugar testing is unnecessary.

October - Another wedding! This time Bill's other sister, and it didn't require a trip to Iowa. No other major issues in October, just more of the same type of dr visits. Also this month, my grandmother passed away after a year long battle with lung cancer. I walked in the Weekend to End Breast Cancer again, making it 17 miles before being forced out due to ankle pain. I went farther this year than last, so that was a positive thing.

November - The follow up biopsy took place, and the results came back nearly identical as the one in August, so a second opinion with an oncologist was scheduled. Had our first Thanksgiving without grandma, and that was pretty rough. Had a hard time with that, much harder than I thought I would.

December - At the oncologist's office, I was told that a surgery would not be necessary, just another month of medication should solve the problem. Also, much to Bill's excitement, it was suggested by the oncologist that getting pregnant would likely solve the majority of my gynecological problems. No decisions have been made as to when (or if) we would be starting that effort. We spent 2 days of Christmas in Ohio, and then left there to go to Iowa for a couple days of Christmas. This was the first time that we had ever done that, and were able to spend the holiday with both complete sets of family. It was tiring, but well worth the effort.

That's the year in review...now to look to next year. I've got some ideas of what I'd like to see happen in the new year, and I hope to post that information once I've worked out the details.

Thanksgiving Reflections

2010-11-26T11:51:00.000-05:00

I spent Thursday with my family, and had a great time! However, there were several things that caused me to stop and look around. First of all, this was the first Thanksgiving after the death of my Grandma. In the month or so since her passing, my parents have been moving into her house. My parents are working to make the house "theirs"; however, I couldn't help fut find it odd to watch TV in the room that once was my grandparents' bedroom, or see boxes where beds were, and a piano where a couch used to be. There were wooden chairs where metal ones once stood, and wallpaper coming down that has been there for years. Most obviously missing was my grandmother bustling around the kitchen. The smells were all there, the food was all there, but she was not, and I missed her. The most painful part was walking into the kitchen and seeing a game of Scrabble going on...Grandma's favorite game.

I'm so thankful that we were able to be there for Thanksgiving, and that all went well. I couldn't help but wish there would have been one more family member there, but since that wasn't possible, I am thankful for all of the prior years that we were able to celebrate with her.

Up next, Christmas.

The Lesson To Be Learned from an Unwanted Plant

2010-10-21T20:04:00.000-04:00

Several months ago (it may be close to 4-5 months now), Bill's mom gave us a flat of plants. I think some were pansies and the rest were dusty millers. I was not going to use any of the plants in any landscaping that I had planned to do, but at that time, we had adopted the mentality that we would take anything that the in-laws offered and toss it ourselves. (This was during the time that they were trying to get all their stuff out of the parsonage so they could move on with retirement.)

I don't normally toss live plants in the garbage, so I asked around at the office to see if anyone could use these plants, and a co-worker was more than willing to take them off my hands. I gave her all the plants I had been given - or so I thought. A couple days later I noticed one remaining plant sitting in its little plastic container next to a transplanted hosta, and I mentally noted that I should probably give that one to my co-worker as well. I never did.

That plant (I'm going to call him Dusty - creative, I know), amazingly enough to me, started growing - and growing - and growing. Please keep in mind, he was (and still is) in the original plastic container that it came with. He has outgrown my transplanted hosta, to the point that he now is overshadowing the hosta. I have not watered him, I've not weeded around him, heck I didn't even plan to plant him! He's growing anyways. He pushed his roots through the plastic and is firmly planted in the ground. AND he's flourishing. It's not the ideal planting for him, but he's making do with what he's been given.

Shouldn't we be doing that? The saying goes "Bloom where you're planted." Granted, we may have a bit more control over where we are than Dusty did, but sometimes we don't. It's how we deal with what we consider to be the "not-so-perfect" garden we're in that matters. Dusty put his roots down right where I left him, and he grew. We may not be in a job that showcases our talents, we may not think we even have talents to showcase. We may not be living where we would prefer, or be relationally where we would rather be. Based on Dusty, I think these are just excuses. He's in a plastic container (the flimsy, one of many on a flat of others type container) - not even a pot! He'd much rather be actually planted in the ground.

We're usually so concerned about blooming that we forget to put our roots down. Unfortunately, we can't bloom without our roots being firmly entrenched in the soil. Busy-ness prohibits a lot of growth, and certainly there must be growth before anything can bloom. We are where we are for a purpose, and trying to move to a new place could prove disasterous, if done incorrectly. Dusty's got roots in the soil, I can't just pick him up and take him out of his plastic container now, it would kill him. I could attempt "plastic container surgery" and cut the plastic away, but even that could harm him, so I will leave him be. He's done fine enough without me this far.

Here's to growing some roots, regardless of our container!

Enjoy the picture of Dusty below:

Update on the Journey

2010-10-14T23:09:00.000-04:00

A while back I posted that I have been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, which would require blood sugar testing and dietary changes. I'm happy to report that progress is being made. First off, I had been testing my blood sugar twice a day, 7 days a week. I approached that task with trepidation due to my dislike of blood (especially my own). After a recent follow-up visit with my doctor, I am now able to reduce the number of blood sugar readings to 3 days a week....woohooo! Less bleeding is great!

Another great side effect of changing to a diabetic diet is that I've dropped a total of 10 pounds in the past 6 weeks. In case you're wondering how, my dietary changes have been relatively simple. I try to keep my carb intake between 30-45 grams per meal. Generally, this means cutting out the bread and butter with most meals. I found some very good low carb yogurt and ice cream (two of my favorite foods), and am currently looking for low carb spaghetti, as I really, really miss frequent spaghetti dinners.

The only high carb exception I am making is for the very delicious arroz con pollo found in Indy at El Meson and in Marion at Mi Pueblo. Rice is a carb laden food (about 45 grams in a half cup of cooked rice), so I can't have it too often, which works since I don't normally make it to either restaurant very often.

I've still got a way to go, but at least I'm heading in the right direction.

Can you sing this....and mean it?

2010-09-21T17:10:00.003-04:00

(lyrics are written by Michael W. Smith, Debbie Smith, Christa Black)

Sitting at Your feet is where I want to be

I'm home when I am here with You

Ruined by Your grace, enamored by Your gaze

I can't resist the tenderness in You

I'm deep in love with You, Abba Father

I'm deep in love with You, Lord

My heart, it beats for You, precious Jesus

I'm deep in love with You Lord

Humbled and amazed that You would call my name

I never have to search again

There's a deep desire that's burning like a fire

To know You as my closest friend

Lord, my redeemer, Your blood runs through my veins

My love for You is deeper than it was yesterday

I enter through the curtain, parted by Your grace

Oh, You're the lover of my soul

I'm deep in love with You, Abba Father

I'm deep in love with You, Lord
My heart, it beats for You, precious Jesus
I'm deep in love with You Lord

The Plot Against America

2010-09-11T11:42:00.000-04:00

~ Phillip Roth (2004)

I finished this book a while ago, but couldn't really find a good way to summarize it. I'll do my best.

The book chronicles a Jewish family named the Roths who live in New Jersey. They are living in the late 1930's into the early '40s, during the time that Hitler was taking over Germany. During the presidential election of 1940, FDR is defeated by Charles Lindbergh, who begins to institute the same type of government as was being run by Hitler. Needless to say, the Jewish families are completely scared for their lives as they are driven from their homes as part of a "Homestead Act" passed by the Lindbergh government. Eventually, Lindbergh disappears and reappears in Germany, and FDR is re-elected in 1944.

An interesting hypothetical story, I found it plausible. In fact, for someone who doesn't have even an inkling of US history and our involvement in World War II, the book could be perceived as a history of the US during that time frame.

The author was nice enough to include an appendix that detailed the places in the story that deviated from actual facts, and in reading that, I learned that Lindbergh apparently was a Nazi sympathizer and had received the highest civilian honor possible from Hitler. While the book left me slightly intrigued, I don't think I'll be revisting any of teh topics presented by this book (unless it's introduced in another of the 1001 books).

Sometimes....

2010-09-08T17:00:00.018-04:00

... I sit in my cubicle at work with my headphones on and plugged into my iPod, but nothing playing through them. I like to think that my coworkers assume that I don't wish to be bothered, but that doesn't normally prevent interruptions.
... I wonder why exactly I went back to school. Hopefully, after I'm done with the theoretical managerial type classes and actually get into the programming ones that feeling will change.
... the power of music is rivalled only by the power of silence. I don't succumb to either power nearly often enough.
... a good book can make all the difference. So can the road less traveled, which can usually be found in the aforementioned good book.
... (well more than sometimes) Dilbert has it right when it comes to the culture of an office.
... monotony is my best friend, other times I wish it would go away.

A New Direction

2010-09-02T14:58:00.000-04:00

Tonight I start a new journey. Well actually, the journey was introduced a couple weeks back when my family doctor confirmed tthat I tested positive for Type 2 diabetes, but the actual travel begins tonight. It's the latest in a series of diagnoses the rest of which I'm not quite ready to announce to the world yet.

I went and got my little meter and the strips I need, and will be heading to classes to learn about the disease and how to adjust my lifestyle to deal with it. I'm super thrilled (please read the sarcasm in that) with having to spend 2.5 hours a week for the next three weeks talking to nurses and dieticians. I'm all for learning things, but this was not on my list of topics of interest.

I'll make sure to keep you posted on how the whole finger poking process goes (not a fan of blood-especially my own).

2010-08-29T16:15:00.000-04:00

I''m having a very difficult time understanding what appears to be a prevalent mindset of church people. Somewhere between when I was a kid and now, those who attend church have decided that one of the "ministries" (and I use that term loosely) of a church is child care. Not necessarily organized children's programming but rather a free babysitting service to allow parents to worship unhindered. This is not a mindset of the recently churched, but rather of people my age who grew up in the church.

I'm just not used to the fact that parents don't appear to care that their child learn important spiritual disciplines like giving, Scripture memorization or even how to worship. They just care that someone (apparently who comes from a "volunteer tree" that grows in the backyard of a church) is available to keep their kids while the main service is going on, because in all of this non-learning that is taking place, their kids can't sit still in a service.

I had a rather pointed conversation with a lady one Sunday after church (she has a 4th and a 2nd grader) shortly after our church announced the hiring of a part-time Children's director and part time assistant children's director. She wondered why, if we were now paying someone, her kids still had to sit in the service, because she couldn't keep them from talking. I explained that just because there is now paid staff, two people cannot be asked to provide solid programming for 50 kids by themselves, and so if she would like for her children to have a during church option in the summers, she needed to volunteer to do that. She really didn't want to hear that. (It should be noted that we didn't have any children's programming for the months of June and July to give our regular volunteers a break, so a total of 8 Sundays--several of which this particular parent didn't even attend).

Today I had a talk with a lady whose 4 year old has been granted an exception to join the quizzing program that I am doing because she will be helping in another capacity on Wednesday nights. I showed her the curriculum that we will be using, and explained that he would likely need quite a bit of help at home to do the work since he's not yet a reader, and you could tell she wasn't thrilled with that. The quizzing program is technically designed for kids in grades 1-6, and we're using it for kids K-4th, so a 4 year old is really stretching it. I happened to mention that if it doesn't work, perhaps there would be a teen who could watch her son as a way of earning money towards one of the missions activities that they will do this year, and she stated that she didn't feel she should have to pay for childcare when she has volunteered to serve. It took everything in me not to say "MY PROGRAM ISN'T A FREE CHILD CARE PROGRAM." I don't have the time or the desire to run a child care program, and I get very tired of having the ministry I am trying to lead be classified as such.

If the mindset doesn't change soon, this particular believer in children's ministry as a way to develop children as followers of Christ, will not be leading anything. If my volunteer hours are nothing more than childcare, then I will not be a part of that, and may find somewhere that values children instead of considering children as people that need taken care of so that their parents can take part in being ministered to.

Slow Man

2010-08-25T11:10:00.001-04:00

~ JM Coetzee (2005)

This book chronicles the story of Paul, who is hit by a car while riding his bike and ends up having to have his leg amputated. He basically has given up on life following his release from the hospital, until he falls for his home health aide, a married woman named Marijana (yes, it looks like the drug, but it's not). Paul decides that since he's got all this money, and no desire to leave home to use it, that he will offer the money to Marijana's son so that he can go to a private school that he's been eyeing.

This sets off a string of visits from Marijana's husband, who doesn't take kindly to some random old man offering his family money, as well as visits from a stranger who takes it upon her self to move in with Paul after Marijana's husband forbids her from working for Paul anymore. In the end, Paul sets up a trust fund for the child, instead of just writing a check. This option appeals to the husband, as it is less like charity in his mind.

Paul never gets a prosthetic leg, nor does he ever re-engage with the outside world. He simply stays home and lets the world go on around him. I imagine his reaction is not uncommon among people; however, I found it to be very sad that the book ended with him remaining a hermit.

GRRRRRRR

2010-07-28T23:47:00.000-04:00

In March we moved to a new apartment, which came with more square footage (and a bigger rent payment). What we didn't realize was that it also came with some pathetic communication from the leasing office.

We were notified several months ago that rennovations would be taking place, and that we would be getting kitchen upgrades-- new counters, appliances, and cupboards. I was pretty psyched, because the current cupboards are kinda ugly. We got our date that we were to be rennovated, and so before leaving town this week, Bill went through the process of emptying EVERYTHING. He placed everything neatly on the dining room table and off we went. Today we get home (we were only gone overnight and left after the office was closed) and in our mail box were instructions for the rennovations. They stated that everything needed to be cleaned out of the kitchen, which we had done. Also noted was that the dining room had to be cleaned out as well, AND the sliding doors off the living room had to be accessible. Finally, they noted that all medicine cabinets and bathroom cabinetry needed to also be emptied. HELLO????? No where in any previous communications did it indicate that the bathrooms were also subject to destruction.

Poor Bill now has to figure out how to get everything out of the dining room without blocking the sliding glass door, and get it done before the workers show up (that information wasn't provided), all before having to work an 8 hour shift.

Add that to the fact that once again our AC is not working, and I'm just not a happy renter.

The Sea

2010-07-26T20:52:00.000-04:00

~by John Banville, (2005)

Another slow-moving book...slow enough that it took renewing it from the Library 3 times to get it finished. The book discussed the life of the main character, Max. It's a first person narrative, and it jumps from past to present without much of a warning. It got a bit confusing.

Max grew up spending his holidays at the sea, and met a family who also vacationed at the same location, in a bungalow down the lane. Max meets Chloe and begins an interesting friendship with her. He experiences loss for the first time when Chloe drowns in the sea. This experience prepares Max for much later in life, when his wife loses her battle with cancer.

Max moves back to the bungalow to live permanently after the loss of his wife, where he spends his time writing and reminiscing, and sharing life experiences with the other residences of the bungalow.

I'm not sure I'd read it again if it presented itself, but as books go, it was ok.

Talking to Strangers

2010-07-10T12:39:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I was feeling generous, so I decided to stop by Einstein Bros and pick up some bagels for breakfast. I opted for a Bagel Bucket, and let the girl decide what to put in the box (it was too early for decisions like that). While she ran the bagels through the slicer, I went looking for shmears, since the bucket comes with 2 shmears. While standing there trying to decide which non-plain shmear to choose, I realized that there was a lady standing thisclose to me, completely hogging my little personal bubble. I glance over and she says "Did I hear you order a Bagel Bucket?" Without stepping away and forming a new bit of personal space (a trait I'm working on thanks to my co-workers from Latin America), I said that I had. She asked if I had a coupon, which I did not, so she handed me an extra one that she had, allowing me to take 50% off. She saved me $7, for which I was grateful, even though I was willing to spend $14 on my coworkers.

Perhaps yesterday, talking to a stranger was ok. At least she didn't try to lure me into a utility van with a coupon. I may have said "no thanks" if that were the case!

School Days

2010-07-03T16:19:00.000-04:00

I work for a university, so in some ways, every day is a school day. That's not the direction I'm going with this particular post. As part of the benefit package for my employer, we have access to tuition waiver for undergraduate classes. It's how I finished paying for my bachelors degree, and now, it's how I'm adding a major to that bachelors.

I sat through some additional master's level classes and took a class that was supposed to function on the use of technology in the field of Accounting (exciting stuff I know). It didn't end up that way, due in large part to the fact that the school had a hard time finding someone qualified enough to teach the class. It was then I decided that, if given the opportunity, I would go back and add an Information Systems major to my bachelor's, which would compliment my Accounting major nicely.

After what seemed like forevermy classes started, and Monday was my first day of class. I was a nervous wreck, but the group was hilarious, and the chattiest group of computer geeks that I'd ever spent time with (well maybe Best Buy employees excluded).

After 2 years, I'll have the major completed, and then will see what I can't do to help with becoming an option to teach classes that combine accounting and computers.

I Am My Mother After All

2010-06-17T21:49:00.000-04:00

Growing up, we lived in a split level house, and my bedroom was the only one downstairs. Mom didn't particularly prefer to yell for me whenever she needed me to come upstairs (and cell phones were expensive and Zach Morris-esque), so she would stomp 3 times on the floor. If I were to yell "What?!?!?" at her in those instances, I would be told something to the effect of "When I stomp, that means you need to come upstairs."

Fast forward a couple decades.

I'm standing upstairs in the bathroom getting ready to go somewhere, and I needed Bill to come upstairs. I stomped on the floor and he yelled "What?!?!?!?!" My response: "When I stomp, it means I need you to come upstairs."

I take comfort in this: There are worse people I could become than my mother!

A Day to Remember

2010-06-05T22:56:00.000-04:00

Today I went to Lucas Oil Stadium for

They opened the stadium, and allowed people to walk on the field for about 3 hours. Also, we were able to wander the stadium (at least the main level) and just mill about as we wished. Bill had to work, so I went alone, but met up with the Hines family at a later time. Because I was alone, I needed to get creative with the pictures. Here's what I came up with:

Me standing on the helmet at the 50 yard line.

Me standing in the end zone

Me standing on the side line

I also took a few pictures from the seats I will not ever be able to afford to sit in:

Finally, I was able to get my picture taken with the Vince Lombardi Trophy (earned by winning the Super Bowl in 2006) as well as the Lamar Hunt Trophy (given to the AFC Champions). There was a hole in the top of the case for the Lombardi Trophy, so I got to touch it as well!

After the festivities on the field, we were able to sit in the lower seats and watch a full squad practice, which was an amazing thing to see.

I'm grateful that the Colts are such a fan friendly organization, I've not ever heard of any other organization that allows the fans on the field. I was glad that I didn't have any other plans for the day, and also glad that the Hines boys were able to see field up close as well. There was nothing better than the looks on the kids' (and some adults') faces as they were wondering around the field.

On Beauty

2010-06-01T23:18:00.000-04:00

~Zadie Smith, Copyright 2005

This book was a much easier read than the last one, thankfully. The story followed two families, the father of each is a professor, and the two are actually "rivals." The one family, the Beasleys, are dealing with the revelation of infidelity on the part of the husband, while the three children work on discovering their own identities. The eldest Beasley son attends college in England, where he meets and falls in love with the daughter of the rival family. The second child attends the college that her father teaches at, and crusades for various things, without ever having to name drop. She gets everything that she wants on her own academic merit. The youngest son starts the book as a music store employee, but by the end of the book is hanging with Haitian refugees and working to make life better for those in Haiti.

The other family, the Kipps, move from Enlgand to the States so that the father can be the visiting lecturer at Mr Beasely's college. The wives meet each other and instantly form a bond. The same cannot be said of the husbands. They continue to verbally attack each other on both a personal and professional level.

When Mrs Kipps dies, the Beasleys are in England visiting family. As Mrs Kipps is English, her funeral is held in England, and the Beasleys attend. When Mr Beasley stops at the Kipps' house to pay his condolences, he is seduced by the Kipps' daughter, Victoria. This affair does not continue, as Mr Beasley has a change of heart towards the end of the book.

The book ends rather abruptly, with Mr and Mrs Beasley getting a divorce and the Kipps family moving back to England. The kids all adapt as kids do.

As far as novels go, this book was well written, but not very thought provoking (just what I needed at the time). It was a very easy read, and I enjoyed it.

Random, but Heartfelt, Thoughts

2010-05-28T16:41:00.000-04:00

There have been many things on my mind lately, and trying to sort them out may be difficult. I have no idea who actually reads my blog, but as these are my thoughts, I am not super concerned about this. Given the right situation, these thoughts would likely be presented to the appropriate people as they are being presented here. I'm giving them headers more as a way for me to organize, and they are not necessarily in order of importance or amount of thought given.

DECISION MAKING

I'm not the best at this topic myself; however, I do many things that rely on others having this ability. Rather, I sit around and wait on many things based on the inability or unwillingness of others.

Take, for example, my involvement as the Director of Awana for my church. Last year it was requested of me to not attempt to recruit volunteers until after VBS so as not to appear that we were trying to over-recruit. Didn't make any sense to me since my program didn't start for several months after VBS, but I complied. Then I had to coordinate with others over who they were recruiting to ensure we didn't cause prospectives stress in trying to choose between programs. As a result, I was doing last minute training with my small group leaders (mostly teens) the first night of Awana. NOT ideal.

This year, a decision hasn't even been made as to whether Awana will continue, due in large part that NO decisions have been made regarding how the fall is going to look at the church. This has become more than frustrating. I can't recruit (which really needs to start now) without knowing if there's going to be programming, and I want to have actual training dates so as to have a smooth running program from the beginning. If Awana is a no-go, then we are hoping to introduce Bible quizzing as an option for kids. However, I can't run both, can't buy supplies for both, and can't recruit for both -- ESPECIALLY if neither is going to happen.

THE CHRISTIAN'S RESPONSE TO SIN

Recently a friend with whom I attend church posted a facebook status that alarmed me, but that I understood (sort of). There's been a big to-do regarding some hazing gone dreadfully wrong on a high school basketball team. The kids were arrested and then video of them acting their age in the jail cell somehow was released. Her opinion was that the boys needed to have the book thrown at them, and a little bit of "eye for an eye" to also take place. When a mutual friend commented on how devestated the parents must be, and that what the boys needed was actually prayer, the original poster's response was that she couldn't agree at all with those sentiments. I was appalled at the thought.

The only thing I could think of while reading the entire thread was the Sermon on the Mount where Jesus says "You have heard it said, 'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,' but I say 'Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you.'" Addtionally, I thought of the verses in Romans where Paul is explaining the purpose of the OT law, and how as Christians, we're not subject to that law, but rather to the new covenant. Retribution is not ours to take, nor to wish upon others. This would be why non-Christians think that Christians are hypocrites. I've been praying for my friend.

I'm pretty sure there was somethign else pressing, but to be honest, I've fogotten, so it must not have been too uber important.

Saturday

2010-05-07T22:30:00.000-04:00

~ by Ian McEwan, copyright 2005

I thought this book would never end. I had the hardest time getting into the storyline, even after the first 150 pages. However, I trudged through.

The story follows the main character, an Englishaman, Henry, through one Saturday in his life, approximately 3 years after 9/11. The day starts very early as Henry awakens for no real reason. As he stands by the window looking out, he watches what he thought was a meteor come across the sky. As it crosses over his house, he realizes that it's actually a plane on fire. He then proceeds to monitor news reports all day to find out why it happened.

As his day progresses, he ends up in a car accident on the way to a squash game, and humiliates the other driver who attempts to beat him up and take his money. Towards the end of the day, the same guy shows up at Henry's house to finish what was started earlier, and ends up falling down the stairs.

Henry, a neurosurgeon, makes sure that the guy is sent to the hospital and even calls ahead to prep the ER. Within a half hour, Henry's phone rings, and it is his collegue asking him to come assist with the brain trauma of the man. He completes the surgery successfully, and returns home to console his wife following the terrifying ordeal.

It appears that part of the reason I couldn't get into the book was due to the fact that I was looking for deeper meaning in the story, when none was there to be found. It was just a novel, no underlying political agenda, no hidden meaning. Perhaps if I'd have figured that out sooner, the book would have been an easier read.

Never Let Me Go

2010-04-15T22:34:00.000-04:00

~ by Kazuo Ishiguro, copyright 2005.

This was an odd book chronicling the lives of children who grew up knowing that they had been cloned specifically to serve as organ donors. They grew up away from society, and eventually wind up at glorified nursing homes where they wait to be notified that their organs are needed. Most only make it through 3 donations before they "complete" (aka die).

The story centers on 3 main kids, a group of friends who grew up together at a place called Halisham. They were educated, although mainly in art and sports, and even knowing what their futures held, they had no problems living life to the fullest. Many years after leaving Halisham, they locate their old guardians and find that the ladies who ran the school were on a mission to prove that the kids couldn't be donors because they had souls.

The book raised interesting, and disturbing, questions that make me grateful that to this point human cloning has not been permitted. I would be very disturbed to learn about an entire generation of people "created" to serve solely as a body to part out as needed by society.

I don't know that I would say that I liked or disliked the book as a whole. I do have to say that I don't like anything that starts in the present, then spends 3/4 of the time in the past only to come back to the present at the end. All that said, it was an odd, odd book.

1001 Books

2010-04-11T16:20:00.000-04:00

A while back, I bought the book "1001 Books to Read Before You Die." The book is a synopsis of titles that a panel of experts has decided are the books that reflect the development of the novel as a genre. I thought I had lost the book as a casualty of the fire, until it showed up in my house last week with the items that were being professionally "de-smoked" (my word, not the professional's).

I decided that I am going to read all 1001, no matter how long it takes. There's enough different types of novels that it shouldn't get boring. However, because the original book is the size of most college text books, I can't just lug it to and from the library to track down titles. Thankfully, some other spreadsheet fanatic like myself, put the entire list (titles and authors) into a tracking sheet, which was easily printable.

As I finish the books on the list, expect a post regarding my thoughts on the book. I'll also tag the posts so that the reviews are easy to search for.

Remembering EJ

2010-03-27T16:56:00.000-04:00

EJ was our second cat, and one we'd had for about 10 years. We got her from a pet store in Marion, and learned that she was a quirky cat relatively early on. First off, as a female orange tabby, she was a minority, as 80% of orange tabbies are male. Secondly, she had a habit of putting herself to sleep by sucking her own nipple. (Thankfully, she out grew this habit when she got fatter!) Her name came from two athletes, Eric Lindros and Jaret Wright. The former was a hockey player, the latter a baseball player, both favorites of mine.

Her life with us was pretty eventful. A couple months after we got her she climbed into our recliner while Bill was sitting in it. He closed the chair to get out of it, and accidentally fractured her hip in the process. What followed after that was months of making sure she didn't jump onto or off of things. Ever try to keep a kitten from jumping? It's pretty close to impossible.

Of the two cats, she was the friendliest - eventually. At least she would come out of hiding when people would come over. She was the beta cat to Kerry's alpha cat, which is probably why they got along so well. When we brought home a third cat, Sammy, it was EJ who bonded the best with her. In fact, EJ mothered Sammy complete with cleanings and playful banter. We never knew when we would find EJ literally sitting on Sammy, while Sammy worked to free herself.

She often slept in odd positions (like the one in the pic above), and frequently resembled Puss 'N Boots from Shrek, with her big green eyes.

We are missing her dearly, and don't plan to replace her, even if we could.

She was a good cat, and we loved her very much.

A Not-so-Super Sunday

2010-02-15T21:50:00.000-05:00

On Super Bowl Sunday, we received a phone call from the apartment complex to which we are moving (but not where we are currently living) letting us know that our next door neighbor had caused a fire that caused a lot of damage. You may have seen the story on the news the next morning. The fire was caused when our neighbor left grease on a burner and ran to the store. He came back 10 minutes later to see his entire apartment gutted.

While the apartments are laid out as individual town-house style, all of the apartments in our building shared a common attic space, and as grease fires do, the flames when straight up, then spread out through the attic. This caused the majority of our damage to be done to the upstairs, as the ceilings fell in, and the wall between the apartments was destroyed.

We had only just begun the moving process, so none of our daily use items had been moved. Our cats will be the last to move, so they too are unharmed. However, we did have books, music, scrapbooking stuff, games, paintings, pictures and other decorations/knick knacks moved in, as well as a stamp collection that belongs to my father-in-law. Our renter’s insurance will cover everything, although some of what was lost is irreplaceable.

As we were on vacation, our insurance company sent a salvage team to grab what they thought wasn’t a total loss. Bill will be going through those things today. The stamp collection appears to have been spared any major water damage, which is excellent news, as the collection was started by Bill’s grandfather, and is worth more than $10,000. We went through the apartment on Saturday to begin the itemization process so that we have documentation of what all has been lost to provide the insurance company a starting point. In addition, the apartment complex will be dealing with the disposal of the damaged property, so we weren’t even required to haul anything to a dumpster.

We have been given a new apartment within the complex, in a different building altogether. The floor plan is identical to the one we had originally, minus a fireplace, and so our moving schedule is relatively unfazed. The neighbor involved has chosen to move to a new apartment complex altogether, and based on what our apartment manager said, is extremely distraught over the entire situation. He is 19, and I am sure could also use prayer.

The entire situation made for quite a depressing Super Bowl Sunday, as the phone call came about an hour after the end of the game. We were able to handle everything by phone and, thanks to the work of our insurance company, did not have to cut our vacation short. That was a blessing as we definitely needed the R&R by that point.

I have uploaded some pics of the damage to a Flickr account, and you can see them by clicking here.

3 AM

2010-01-30T03:27:00.000-05:00

I'm writing at just after 3 am because I'm not sleepy. I'm tired, but not sleepy, and that's not my favorite place to be. It's not that I've been to sleep and woken up, but I have not yet been to sleep. It will make for a long day tomorrow or later today, however you'd like to look at it.

What does one do at 3am when sleep doesn't come? I tried listening to the radio, watching/listening to a Gaither DVD, closed my eyes and prayed for sleep to overtake me and nothing is working. I think that my cat is starting to get upset that I keep interrupting her sleep by rolling over (and cats are supposed to be nocturnal).

I grew up hearing stories of God waking people up to pray and try as I might, I don't really feel that's why I'm awake. I know that worry can keep a person awake, but I really have none of that going on. Maybe trying to wrack my brain for a reason that I'm still awake is keeping me up. It's too late for a dose of Nyquil because I sleep for a full 8-9 hours after one of those, and I need to be up way before noon.

I've decided just tp recline in my chair, turn on some Tivo and hope for the best. If that doesn't work, I'll be buying a case of Mt. Dew for breakfast.

With Friends Like That....

2010-01-25T22:24:00.000-05:00

In reading through the Bible chronologically, I've come to the book of Job. To be honest, I've never truly read the book of Job much past the first chapter. The more of the book I read, the more I realize that poor Job may have been able to deal with the loss of almost everything had he also lost his friends and his wife.

Perhaps it was the story of Job that made Solomon write "Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife." (Proverbs 21:19). No support from her whatsoever. Job's friends appear to be well intentioned, but honestly, at some point I wish I could reach through time to tell them to just shut their traps.

If you need something to make you appreciate your friends...read Job.

Resolutions

2010-01-01T21:23:00.001-05:00

[rez-uh-loo-shuhns] -noun 2. a resolve or determination: to make a firm resolution to do something. (dictionary.com)

This is the time of year where it's vogue to make statements like "I am going to do (or not do) ___________." Generally, resolutions revolve around self-improvement, such as lose weight, stop smoking, exercise, eat healthier, and so on. The fitness industry loves this time of year, because people join gyms and buy videos and equipment, all in an effort to fulfill a resolution. By March, most treadmills are clothing racks and the gym is a long lost memory, the symbols of wasted money.

Dictionary.com lists the following as a defintion of the word resolve: "firmness of purpose or intent; determination."

Given that definition, do we ever actually resolve to do anything? I can honestly say that I have not resolved to do much, due to not usually feeling as though there were things that I so desperately needed to change about myself. What few resolutions I have made have been derailed by my own lack of will power, so I guess they weren't resolutions after all.

All that to say, I am making the following resolutions:

1. Read the Bible in a year -- I've got a chronological Bible that's one of those one year Bibles. I'm excited to both read the Bible in its entirety, as our church has been challenged by our pastor to do so, but also in chronological order.

2. Complete the entire 40 mile Weekend to End Breast Cancer Walk -- Last year, I did 15 miles of the first day before quitting. The training has begun, and fund-raising requests are forthcoming.

3 Eat more meals at home than out -- I think this one is self-explanitory.

4. Have homework done prior to the night before class -- I intend to start classes in February to add an Information Systems majory to my Accounting degree. Since classes will be on Mondays, I don't want to spend my Sundays doing homework, and with my small group meeting on Sunday evenings, I don't want to have to stay up until the wee hours to get everything done.

There you have it.

Happy New Year!

A New Beginning

2009-12-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

I'm starting over. I've decided that with the coming of the new year, my blog is starting over too. I've deleted all the previous posts, like ripping pages out of a notebook, to start fresh.

Enjoy my journey through 2010, may it be a year of discovery, discipline and fun!